Federal Agency for Education

ROWPO<Воронежский институт инновационных систем>

Department of General Socio-Economic and humanities.

Abstract on the topic:

Loneliness like social problem.

Performed

1st year student

group UK1-1

Zabrovskaya Oksana

Checked

Ishimskaya E.V.

Voronezh 2009

Introduction …………………………………………………………… ..page 3

Single mothers …………………………………………………… page 5

Loneliness of elderly people …………………………………… ..… .p.10

Feeling lonely in adolescence .... ………………… .p.13

Conclusion ………………………………………………………… ..page 17

List of used literature …………………………………… .p.19

Introduction

Loneliness is a socially psychological state characterized by narrowness or lack of social contacts, behavioral alienation and emotional non-involvement of the individual; also a social disease, which consists in the massive presence of individuals experiencing such states.

Loneliness is scientifically one of the least developed social concepts... In the demographic literature, there are statistics on the absolute number and specific gravity lonely people. So, in a number of developed countries of the world (Holland, Belgium, etc.), lonely people make up about 30% of the population. In the United States, as of 1986, there were 21.2 million single people. Compared to 1960, this figure has tripled. By 2000, according to forecasts, another 7.4 million people will “join” them.

At sample studies among the lonely, the following types are distinguished. The first type is “hopelessly lonely”, completely dissatisfied with their relationship. These people did not have a sexual partner or spouse. They rarely made contact with anyone (for example, with their neighbors). They have a strong sense of dissatisfaction with their relationships with peers, emptiness, abandonment. More than others, they tend to blame other people for their loneliness.

The second type is “periodically and temporarily lonely”. They are sufficiently connected to their friends, acquaintances, although they lack close affection or are not married. They are more likely than others to enter into social contacts in various places. Compared to other singles, they are the most socially active. These people consider their loneliness to be transient, feel abandoned much less often than other lonely ones.

The third type is “passively and steadily lonely”. These are people who have come to terms with their situation, accepting it as inevitability.

At present, interest in the problem of alienation and loneliness seems to be quite natural. This is due to the nature of today's social situation, which is characterized by uncertainty and instability. Intensive changes in the political, economic, cultural spheres of the life of society actively affect the structure interpersonal relationships and self-awareness of a person. The transitional period (from the traditionally Russian collectivist culture - to the individualistic ideology) leads to the transformation of psychosocial and cultural structures that determine business and interpersonal interaction, values ​​and social activity of a person, his emotional well-being.
The current social situation requires a person to attract additional resources to form adequate adaptive capabilities to the changing world. However, not every person is ready to accept new conditions of existence. Many people experience the rupture of old significant ties, the inability to acquire new ones, while simultaneously feeling the need for them. Lack and / or “superficiality” of meaningful relationships causes acute negative feelings of loneliness. A lonely person is a subject experiencing difficulties in social interaction. Loneliness is a deep emotional experience that can distort perception, the concept of time and the nature of social action.
Understanding the nature of loneliness will make it possible to develop optimal strategies for overcoming it, adequate for the current unstable and uncertain situation.

Loneliness of the elderly

Old age is sometimes called the "age of social loss." This statement is not without grounds: old age as a phase of life is characterized by age-related changes in the human body, changes in its functional capabilities and, accordingly, needs, role in the family and society, which often is not painless for the person himself and his social environment.

It follows from the UN forecasts that in 2001 the age of every tenth inhabitant of the earth exceeded 60 years. Western European countries, the USA, Canada and Japan are intensively "aging". At present, life expectancy in Russia reaches 67 years, in the USA - 76 years, in France - 77 years, in Canada - 78 years, in Japan - 80 years. Average age the population is getting higher, and the number of children, adolescents and young people is decreasing, which qualifies as a “demographic revolution”.

By 1995, the share of elderly citizens in the Russian population (men over 60 years old, women over 55 years old) reached the highest high level for the period since 1959 and amounted to 20.6%. Currently, 30.2 million Russians belong to the older generation.

Problems social protection older people are becoming especially relevant in modern conditions when the old forms and methods of social support turned out to be unsuitable, and new system social protection that meets the requirements of a market economy is still being created.

Our society today is experiencing a socio-economic crisis. All the signs are evident: a drop in production and living standards, disregard for morality and the collapse of trust in the norms of public civilization, an increase in crime and social disorganization, lies, corruption, apathy and mistrust in the statements and actions of the authorities. The connection between generations will help to restore the morality of society by passing on the traditions of the people, norms of behavior, universal mercy and prudence. The bearers and keepers of these values ​​are the generation of elderly people who have gone along with the country a difficult path of development, wars, change of leadership and priorities.

In old age, the reality of aging brings with it many causes of loneliness. Old friends die, and although they can be replaced by new acquaintances, the thought that you are continuing to exist is not enough comfort. Adult children move away from their parents, sometimes only physically, but more often out of an emotional need to be themselves and to have the time and opportunity to deal with their own problems and relationships. With old age comes apprehension and loneliness caused by poor health and fear of death.

In order to best adapt to the environment, a person must have someone to whom he is personally attached, and a wide network of friends. Deficiency of each of these different types relationships can lead to either emotional or social loneliness.

All researchers agree that loneliness in the most general approximation is associated with a person's experience of his isolation from the community of people, family, historical reality, harmonious natural universe. But this does not mean that elderly people living alone all experience loneliness. It is possible to be lonely in the crowd and with the family, although loneliness among old people can be associated with a decrease in the number of social contacts with friends and children.

Research carried out by Perlan and his colleagues has shown much more facts loneliness among old lonely people who lived with relatives than among other old people who lived alone. It turned out that social contact with friends or neighbors has a greater impact on well-being than contact with relatives.

Connecting with friends and neighbors reduced their feelings of loneliness and increased their sense of their own worth and a sense of being respected by others.

The level and causes of loneliness as understood by older people depend on age groups. People aged 80 and older understand the meaning of the term “loneliness” in a different way than people in other age groups. For the elderly, loneliness is associated with decreased activity due to disability or inability to move, rather than a lack of social contact.

Old age in real life- this is often a period when help and support is needed to survive. This is the basic dilemma. Self-esteem, independence and help, which prevents the realization of these feelings, come to a tragic contradiction. Perhaps in the end you will have to give up your independence, independence, because the extension of life is a sufficient reward for such a refusal.

There is another aspect of loneliness, which is more common among men than women. This loneliness, which occurs as a result of the warehouse of intellectual activity, along with a decrease in physical activity. Women not only live longer than men, but are generally less susceptible to the effects of aging. Older women, as a rule, find it easier to go headlong into the household than men: "a hardworking bee has no time to be sad." Most older women are able to dive into the little things of the household more often than most older men. With retirement, the number of cases for men decreases, but the number of cases for his wife increases markedly. While a retired man loses his role as a "breadwinner" of livelihoods, a woman never leaves the role of a housewife. With the retirement of her husband, a woman reduces the monetary costs of housekeeping, her health deteriorates and her vital energy decreases.

Loneliness plays a positive and negative role in a person's life. The benefits of loneliness are felt by those who consciously choose this state for themselves. Just as shortcomings are felt by those who are burdened by their loneliness.

The state of loneliness was not always perceived by the individual as a personal problem, for example, in ancient times, when the very existence of people was purely communal, we find three main forms of loneliness.

Rites and rituals, the so-called upbringing of loneliness. Loneliness here is a necessary condition for the formation of a personality and does not carry a tragic connotation.

The punishment of loneliness is exile. Actually, at all levels of development of society, there was no greater punishment than forced social isolation. The reason for the special severity of the punishment is that "it is not just this or that act of the individual who is subjected to alienation, but he himself as such, his personality."

Voluntary seclusion is hermitage. The purpose of such solitude is self-improvement, overcoming the carnal principle with the spiritual. Hermitism presupposed inner concentration, attention to one's problems.

Currently, loneliness gives a person the following opportunities:

Rapid advancement in the career ladder (since a person devotes more time to work);

The ability to travel frequently;

Helps to take a break from the daily hustle and bustle;

The opportunity to be alone with yourself, the opportunity to know yourself;

The ability to develop creativity;

Self improvement;

The possibility of stabilizing the psychophysical state.

But the main purpose of solitude is to be alone with yourself. It is a frequently needed remedy for exhaustion. modern people... Even in the old days, loneliness was also used for prediction purposes, as a way to listen to the inner Self, to ask for advice from your intuition or higher powers that cannot be heard in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. And then there is an opportunity to know yourself - to understand that I am a part of infinite Nature. As soon as a person comes face to face with his loneliness, accepts it, then it changes color, quality, taste. It becomes a unity. And then it is not isolation, it is solitude. Isolation carries unhappiness; solitude contains joy and happiness.

In the scientific and business world, the time that we devote to being alone with ourselves is for some reason considered wasted, although in fact this time is the most fruitful, it helps us maintain inner life. After all, it is in a state of loneliness that the soul supplies ideas to our imagination, and only then we sort them in order to decide which ones to adopt, which ones are most acceptable and promising.

However, being alone has its drawbacks, for example tact like:

Bulimia (a person drowns out his loneliness with food);

Anarexia

Alcoholism (a person often meets with groups of friends);

Antisocial behavior (a person breaks the rules in order to attract attention, uses narcotic drugs to be included in any group);

Workaholism (a person, due to the absence of a loved one, devotes a lot of time to work).

Loneliness affects the life span of lonely people. It was found that the life expectancy of single people is six years less than that of people who are married.

Long stay of a person in a state of loneliness can lead to serious consequences. For example, unmet social needs can cause personality degradation and even various physical ailments. A person can no longer be as purposeful as before. His life priorities are not changing for the better.

There is a simultaneous negative impact on the brain and on the state of the body. Some of the effects are subtle and are due to the increased levels of stress hormones in the blood. The consequences of these small impacts, which affect over time. Thus, unmet social needs have a serious impact on health, corroding arteries, creating the preconditions for high blood pressure, and even harming the quality of learning and memory.

As a result, the absence of close friends or the deprivation of the familiar, wider circle of communication, people feel very uncomfortable and prone to nervous disorders.

A lonely person is sad and empty, longing for communication with at least someone. He feels isolated, distant, and deprived. These feelings severely undermine our emotional health.

Also, a person may develop antisocial behavior. By breaking the rules, a person wants to attract attention to himself or simply joins anti-social groups in order to have at least some communication with other people.

But the worst thing is when loneliness leads to the collapse of hopes and this can lead to the fact that a person can commit suicide. A person cannot bear this painful longing, isolation and does not see the point in living on.

Loneliness also affects the emotional state of a person. Impressive list emotional states that a chronically lonely person experiences from time to time. These are despair, fear, melancholy, impatience, a feeling of one's own unattractiveness, loss of hope, isolation, self-pity, and so on.

Lonely people are deeply unhappy, they cannot establish the relationships they need, they cannot really have fun in companies, they have difficulty when they need to call someone, agree on something, resolve any personal issue. They consider themselves less competent, tend to explain their failures in establishing interpersonal contacts by a lack of ability and the tasks associated with the establishment of intimate relationships cause them increased anxiety. Lonely people react sharply to offers and refusals to establish personal contact with others. They find it difficult to accept compliments in their address, they are more insecure in communication and are more careful.

A person's preferred way of responding to loneliness - depression or aggression - depends on how the person explains their own loneliness. If people blame others for their loneliness rather than themselves, they may experience feelings of anger and bitterness, which stimulates the emergence of hostile attitudes. If people are convinced that they themselves are guilty of their loneliness, and do not believe that they can change themselves, then they are likely to be saddened and condemned themselves. If a person is convinced that loneliness challenges him, then he will actively fight against it, make efforts to get rid of loneliness.

Thus, depending on how a person reacts to loneliness, it plays a double role in a person's life. On the one hand, loneliness is a state of isolation in which a person is very unhappy. He experiences a wide variety of feelings: despair, fear, longing, impatience, a sense of his own unattractiveness, isolation, self-pity, etc. All this prevents him from establishing the necessary contacts with others. On the other hand, loneliness can be used by a person as a time to reflect on his life, his actions. In solitude, a person experiences peace and tranquility, a person comprehends the essence of his personal life.

One of the most serious problems of mankind is the problem of loneliness, when relationships for some reason do not develop, giving rise to neither friendship, nor love, nor enmity, leaving people indifferent towards each other.

The following data indicate the prevalence of loneliness among people: no more than 1--2% of respondents say that they have never experienced feelings of loneliness in their lives, while about 10--30% say that they have experienced such a feeling at least once in their life.

A person becomes lonely when he realizes the inferiority of his relationships with people who are personally significant to him, when he experiences an acute deficiency in meeting the need for communication.

Loneliness is a difficult mental condition, usually accompanied by a bad mood and distressing emotional experiences. Deeply lonely people tend to be very unhappy, they have few social contacts, and their personal connections with other people are either limited or completely severed.

Loneliness can be experienced by a young man or girl who cannot find a suitable partner, or an elderly person who has lost friends and relatives and cannot find mutual language with the younger generation. Loneliness is often experienced by people with inert nervous system, with difficulty making new contacts, slowly getting used to new acquaintances. In extreme cases, loneliness can lead to depression.

There are a number of psychological factors that contribute to loneliness. For example, it may be low self-esteem, which leads to avoidance of contact with other people due to fear of criticism, which, in turn, creates a vicious circle - as a result of the lack of contact, self-esteem falls even more. Poor communication skills also contribute to loneliness. People with poorly developed skills interpersonal communication, low socialization due to fear of failing in relationships or falling into psychological dependence also often strive for loneliness, especially if they already have bad experiences with other people. Loneliness as a state is often expressed in music, cinema, literature and poetry.

The concept of loneliness is associated with the experience of situations that are subjectively perceived as an undesirable, personally unacceptable for a person, lack of communication and positive intimate relationships with people around. Loneliness is not always accompanied by the social isolation of the individual. You can constantly be among people, contact them and at the same time feel your psychological isolation from them, i.e. loneliness (if, for example, these are strangers or people alien to the individual).

The degree of loneliness experienced is also not related to the number of years a person spent out of contact with people; people who have lived alone all their lives sometimes feel less lonely than those who often have to interact with others. A lonely person cannot be called a person who, having little interaction with others, does not exhibit either the psychological or behavioral reactions of loneliness, which are discussed later in this chapter. In addition, people may not be aware that there are discrepancies between their actual and desired relationships with others.

Genuine subjective states of loneliness usually accompany the symptoms of mental disorders, which take the form of affects with clearly negative emotional coloring, and different people have different affective reactions to loneliness. Some lonely people report feelings of sadness and depression, for example, others report fear and anxiety, and still others report bitterness and anger.

The experience of being alone is influenced not so much by real relationships as by the ideal idea of ​​what they should be. A person who has a strong need for communication will feel lonely even if his contacts are limited to one or two people, and he would like to communicate with many; at the same time, those who do not feel such a need may not feel at all their loneliness, even in the absence of communication with other people.

Loneliness comes with some typical symptoms. Usually lonely people feel psychologically isolated from other people, incapable of normal interpersonal communication, to establish with others intimate interpersonal relationships such as friendship or love. A lonely person is a depressed, or depressed, person who, among other things, has a lack of communication skills.

A lonely person feels different from everyone and considers himself an unattractive person. He claims that no one loves or respects him. Such features of a lonely person's attitude to oneself are often accompanied by specific negative affects, including feelings of anger, sadness, and deep unhappiness. A lonely person avoids social contacts, isolates himself from other people. He is more than other people inherent in the so-called paranoid feeling, which includes increased suspicion, impulsivity, excessive irritability, fear, anxiety, feeling of weakness and frustration.

Lonely people are more pessimistic than non-lonely people, they experience an exaggerated sense of self-pity, they expect only trouble from other people, and only worse from the future. They also consider their life and the lives of others to be meaningless. Lonely people are not talkative, behave quietly, try to be invisible, and most often look sad. They often look tired and have increased drowsiness.

When there is a gap between real and real relationships, characteristic of a state of loneliness, then different people react to it in different ways. Helplessness as one of the possible reactions to this situation is accompanied by increased anxiety. If people blame others for their loneliness instead of themselves, they may experience feelings of anger and bitterness, which stimulates the emergence of an attitude of hostility. If people are convinced that they themselves are guilty of their own loneliness, and do not believe that they can change themselves, then they are likely to be sad and judge themselves. Over time, this condition can develop into chronic depression. If, finally, a person is convinced that loneliness challenges him, then he will actively fight against it, make efforts to get rid of loneliness.

An impressive list of typical emotional states that occasionally engulf a chronically lonely person. These are despair, melancholy, impatience, a feeling of their own unattractiveness, helplessness, panic fear, depression, inner emptiness, boredom, a desire to change places, a feeling of their own underdevelopment, loss of hope, isolation, self-pity, constraint, irritability, insecurity, abandonment , melancholy, alienation (the list was obtained by factor analysis of the responses of many single people to a special questionnaire).

Lonely people tend to dislike others, especially the outgoing and happy ones. This is their defensive reaction, which, in turn, prevents them from establishing good relations with people themselves. It is believed that it is loneliness that forces some people to abuse alcohol or drugs, even if they themselves do not recognize themselves as lonely.

A lonely person is characterized by an exclusive focus on himself, on his personal problems and inner experiences. He is characterized by increased anxiety and fear of catastrophic consequences of an unfavorable combination of circumstances in the future.

When communicating with other people, lonely people talk more about themselves and more often than others change the topic of conversation. They are also slower to respond to what their communication partner says. Such people have specific interpersonal problems. They easily get irritated in the presence of other people, are highly aggressive, are prone to excessive, not always justified criticism of others, and often exert psychological pressure on other people. Lonely people trust people a little, hide their opinions, are often hypocritical, insufficiently controlled in their own actions.

Lonely people cannot really have fun in companies, they have difficulty when they need to call someone, agree on something, resolve any personal or business issue. Such people are highly suggestible or overly stubborn in resolving interpersonal conflicts.

Having inadequate self-esteem, some of the features of which will be discussed below, lonely people either neglect how others perceive and evaluate them, or they certainly try to please them. Singles are particularly concerned about issues related to personal communication, including dating, introducing others, being complicit in various activities, and being relaxed and open in communication.

Lonely people consider themselves to be less competent than non-lonely people, and tend to attribute their failure to establish interpersonal contacts to lack of ability. Many tasks associated with the establishment of intimate relationships cause them increased anxiety, reduce interpersonal activity. Lonely people are less resourceful in finding solutions to problems that arise in interpersonal situations.

It has been established that loneliness depends on how a person treats himself, i.e. from his self-esteem. For many people, feelings of loneliness are associated with clearly low self-esteem.

The feeling of loneliness generated by it often leads to the appearance in a person of a feeling of unsuitability and worthlessness. The feeling of loneliness can increase or decrease depending on dynamic changes in individually accepted standards of the intensity of normal interpersonal communication or the breadth of contacts with people that a person must go to. Standards of this kind are usually subjective, not precisely defined, but in general they are well expressed in judgments: “I would like to have more friends,” “No one really understands me,” etc. At the same time, such standards are relative, they are always set in comparison with past communication experience. A slight decrease in the number of friends or human contacts in a person who previously had a large number of them can be perceived as an increase in loneliness, while similar changes occurring in the nature of interpersonal relationships in a person who previously did not communicate with almost anyone and had limited circle of friends (i.e. their increase to the same level as that of the first person) will probably be perceived as a decrease in loneliness, i.e. the opposite way.

Lonely people often see in themselves the reason for their loneliness, attributing it to character flaws, lack of abilities, personal unattractiveness to a greater extent than factors subject to conscious volitional control: lack of their own efforts to establish contacts, ineffectiveness of the means used for this, etc. The causal attribution of such people is characterized by an internal locus of control and is accompanied by a reference to such own negative individual qualities as shyness, fear of being rejected in an attempt to establish an intimate relationship with someone, lack of knowledge about how to behave in such situations in order to strengthen interpersonal communication.

A person's preferred way of responding to loneliness - depression or aggression - depends on how the person explains their own loneliness. With an internal locus of control, depression often occurs, and with an external one, aggression. An increased tendency to submissiveness or, on the contrary, to the manifestation of hostility is positively correlated with the actual loneliness of a person among people.

Lonely people often feel worthless, incompetent, unloved, and increased self-criticism contributes to these self-deprecating feelings.

The link between low self-esteem and loneliness is explained in two ways.

• · First, by references to the fact that low self-esteem generates internal self-alienation of a person;
• · Secondly, based on the assumption that low self-esteem is accompanied by a system of attitudes and behavioral tendencies that in themselves significantly complicate interpersonal communication.
• · Third, the discrepancy between the three “I” of the individual: the way he currently sees himself (the actual “I”); what he would like to become (ideal "I"), and how others perceive him (reflected "I"). Experimentally confirmed the hypothesis that subjective reasons loneliness have more weight in its origin than objective. It turned out, for example, that many people are not able to correctly assess the attitude of others towards them, since their self-perception does not fully correspond to how people themselves actually perceive them.

Individuals who do not value themselves highly expect others to treat them the same way. Such people react more sharply than many others to offers and refusals to establish personal contacts with others. At the same time, people with low self-esteem are especially responsive to appeals and requests from outside, reacting with increased hostility to those who personally reject them. These people are overly sensitive to criticism and see it as confirmation of their own inferiority. They, as it turned out, hardly accept compliments in their address, behave more insecurely in communication and are more cautious.

In general, low self-esteem gives rise to an interconnected complex of psychologically unfavorable factors that impede the establishment of good personal relationships with people around them: self-deprecating consciousness and behavior, a sense of one's own incompetence, and much more. It should also be borne in mind that long-term loneliness, for its part, can negatively affect self-esteem, making it more vulnerable. Communication failures can increase feelings of loneliness and, as a result, reduce self-esteem. Low self-esteem is potentially at greater risk of being lonely than normal, as low self-esteem ultimately undermines a person's self-esteem.

One of the factors contributing to loneliness is a person's unwillingness to find themselves in a situation of interpersonal communication in which he runs the risk of being denied the establishment of the relationships he needs, feeling embarrassed and disappointed. Hostility and passivity like possible reasons and at the same time the consequences of loneliness often accompany him. Due to the fear of negative results of the manifestation of initiative in establishing interpersonal contacts, it becomes more and more difficult for a person to overcome loneliness, and the fear generated by the former bad experience, helps to create an environment that further enhances feelings of loneliness.

Often, loneliness occurs for reasons beyond the control of a person. Widowhood, divorce, or personal breakup are the most common social causes leading to loneliness. In such cases, it arises as a result of a sudden complete or partial emotional and psychological isolation of a person from people who make up his usual circle of communication.

It makes sense to distinguish between three types of loneliness relationships: chronic, situational, and transient. Chronic loneliness occurs when an individual for a long period of life cannot establish satisfactory relationships with people who are significant to him. Situational loneliness usually appears as a result of any stressful events in a person's life, such as the death of a loved one or the breakup of an intimate relationship, such as marriage. After a short time of distress, the situationally lonely individual resigns himself to his loss and partially or completely overcomes the feeling of loneliness that has arisen. Transient loneliness is expressed in short-term bouts of loneliness, which completely and completely disappear without leaving any traces behind.

The loss of one of the parents as a result of divorce or the lack of emotionally close, trusting relationships, parental support in childhood can make an individual more sensitive to loneliness in adulthood. An emotional wound received in childhood turns into a characterological personal vulnerability of an adult and persists for a long time, sometimes all life, forcing such people more acutely than others to react to separation and social isolation

We are born alone and we leave alone. Really, and will have to live like this, without understanding at least one person out of the millions that surround us? I would like to acquire some kind of immunity, become absolutely self-sufficient and not become attached to the search for kindred souls who can brighten up our sometimes difficult path. By the way, this is also an option, someone really chooses the path of a hermit, goes into an ascetic, and in the wilderness of the forest sits for hours in meditation. However, man is a social being. Hermitism is not suitable for everyone, and therefore the problem of loneliness often requires other solutions.

The reason for loneliness

Sometimes, I myself wonder how people generally understand each other. Each of us follows our own, completely unique path. On the way, everyone has an individual set of qualities that determine the way they perceive the world. At the same time, we are experiencing different states, we get completely different life experiences and from this we draw completely different conclusions about who we are, what the world is and how to live in it correctly.

As a result, meeting other walking people on the way, we suddenly realize that their ideas about the world can be radically different from ours. It's not so bad when it comes to material things. Here we were able to agree with relative accuracy what we will call a window, table or pen. But the farther from the material, the greater the gulf in views becomes. What is love, how to convey irritation, how to define justice? This is where things get much more complicated.

One of the main problems of loneliness is a different understanding of the fundamental phenomena, such as: love, honor, justice ...

Your concept of, say, love will be shaped by your experience. The moral norms of the society you interact with will form the skeleton of understanding. And personal experiences in this area, positive or negative, will turn into arms, legs, horns, tails and hooves of your chimera of love. From here grow such illusory beliefs that, for example, love has something in common with passion, attachment, desire.

An infinite number of such chimeras can be formed. As a result, they will turn into a kind of average result - your personal concept of what love is. Other people's chimeras will be very different from your own. And quite often you will conflict with them on this basis. Perhaps some kind of chimera will cause admiration, some kind of contempt. Or maybe you will like the hoof of some chimera so much that you will attach the same to yours. There can be a lot of options. But while your understanding of love is ephemeral, you will never find someone who would understand you one hundred percent.

This is why people are lonely. All these "horns and hooves" only distort the true concepts of such important things as love. Love lies beyond any moral "skeleton of society" and "hooves of the individual." Moreover, the one who experiences a true feeling of love does not need any artificial limitations of morality, since this feeling in itself presupposes full surrender and self-sacrifice. Morality, on the other hand, judges by external things: by actions and words, but not by the true motives of what was said and done.

Love is a state that is unknowable and within the limits of the mind. And therefore it is impossible to explain it. No matter how much you try to explain to someone what love is, you will never find someone who completely agrees with your vision.

Loneliness ends where judgment and reasoning ends.

True, no matter how different the personalities of people are, the experiences are the same for everyone. Someone has brighter experiences, someone deeper, but in general, these are the same experiences at all. And all our distinguishing is the result of personal history, a reflection of the original, common.

Yes, love cannot be explained in words, but at the level of the soul, everyone has knowledge about it. That is, loneliness ends where judgments and reasoning end. The reason for loneliness is that people are looking in the wrong places where they can be found. But turn your gaze inward. The answer lies there.

Why are people lonely

We feel lonely if we lack spiritual exchange with those around us. But our physical body, our personality and our intellect are only instruments of the soul. The soul does not reflect and does not experience emotions and sensations. The soul experiences states, which is why it is so difficult for us to understand each other with the help of words.

Our soul does not understand words, but the symbols and images that cause states are understandable. That is, we cannot explain what love is, but using the language of symbols, we can awaken in the soul of another memory of it.

The state is nothing more than the frequency or vibration of the soul. The vibration can be rough, mundane, or it can be sublime, subtle. Hatred, sadness, happiness, joy - these are all vibrations of the soul. And anyone who has experienced this will be able to understand you in your state.

Art is the result of humanity's striving for spiritual exchange. Listening to the same melody, contemplating a picture or reading a story, we experience the state conveyed by the author, each one is the same, with a difference in depth and brightness.

Have you noticed how easy it is to be in silence with a friend? At the same time, with an unfamiliar person, we experience discomfort if the conversation does not flow. The fact is that with close people we move on to a spiritual, deeper communication than with strangers. We are able to read each other's states without words and tune in. While the path to our soul is still closed to the unfamiliar. And we try to compensate for this with interaction at the mental level, that is, with the help of words.

But words alone are never enough for a person. Therefore, it is impossible to get rid of loneliness, even constantly being in noisy fun campaigns. In general, the more people around, the more acute the problem of loneliness is.

How to get rid of loneliness

So, loneliness is the result of a lack of spiritual exchange that cannot be filled with words alone. Therefore, we want to find someone who will understand the state of our soul. Creativity is what the soul manifests itself in. And it is through creativity that we are able to touch the depths of our worlds. He who knows how to create and see the beautiful will never be alone. To create beautiful means to give states, and to see the beautiful means to recognize yourself in the beautiful. Create and contemplate - and you will never be alone again!

Creation

We put part of our soul into the objects of our creativity. And everyone who comes into contact with our creativity comes into contact with our soul. Therefore, gifts made by oneself are so appreciated. And that is why it is so pleasant to give them. Learn to draw, sew, knit, grow violets, cook ... And give the objects of your creativity to people. This way you will never feel lonely.

Contemplating the masterpieces of art, we touch something that touches the subtlest strings of the human soul. Music poems, paintings of the greats evoke the same states in all contemplators. We cannot explain it in words, but we all know how sometimes goosebumps run through the body from something intimate, touching. We all experienced a state of eventfulness, a holiday expressed in loud solemn sounds, or a feeling of piercing melancholy in the lingering sound of a violin. Art allows us to get in touch with the souls of the great masters of humanity, as well as all those who recognize themselves in their creations.

Spirituality

Be sincere, and then there will be someone who will understand you in your condition. But you cannot demand understanding from people. After all, only those who have experienced similar to yours will be able to understand you. Don't judge others for their actions. try to see the soul in them. There is often pain and suffering behind an unseemly act. In our own suffering, we feel lonely and want understanding. To gain understanding, you need to give it to others.

Filling the emptiness inside yourself is possible only by filling it with something real, true. And truth is silent, and it cannot live in our perishable body, or in transitory emotions, or in a restless mind. It is all changeable and unstable. Only our soul is immortal.