How to make a decision if you doubt? This is very important question. After all, our whole life is actually the rim of the decisions on the easiest and most complex issues. And from each previous solution, it depends on what subsequent new questions will put your life and what opportunities will open before us. It is strange that trigonometry paid so much time at school, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue ...

I have some faithful assistants - proven techniques who have survived me many times and helped take the right decision. Some techniques I learned at trainings on personal GrowthSome are of the works of great philosophers, and some suggested me ... my grandmother.

Sometimes gets a little scary because even the simplest solution can change our fate.. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party among the week. She thought to go or not go. Tired after work. Plus, tomorrow morning an important presentation. Nevertheless decided to go. And as a result, I met my love. He married, gave birth to beloved children. She found her happiness and often asked himself the question of what her fate would be, she would not go to the party.

So from each of our solutions, even the smallest depends on what will be the continuation of the scenario of our life.

In this context, I like the movie with Jim Kerry in the lead role Always say yes"If suddenly you have not seen this movie, I really advise you to see. Few people know that the comedy is based on the biographical book of the British writer Danny Wallacewhich 6 months answered only "yes" to all offers. The writer even starred in the film in the "Golec Church" scene in an episodic role.

So, come back to our main question: "How to take the right decision if you doubt?".

1st Methods "Intuition".

All subsequent techniques are very important, but it is impossible to impain the role of intuition. You noticed that most often we immediately know, we feel how to do. I, for example, i speak: "Listen. What does your stomach tell you? " You need to listen to your inner voice. But if it does not help, I use some simple and proven techniques.

In fact, it is folk wisdom, which is a quintessence of the experience of many previous generations Our ancestors. For thousands of thousands of years, they simply noticed certain reasons and investigations. And passed these knowledge from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if you doubt, do not know what decision to take, ask the Council in the 2ndest people. Grandma said that through them angels tell you the best solution for you.

This method can be somewhat called the resulting from the previous method: if your angel cannot "reach" with the right solution to you through intuition, then it transmits it through the most close people to you.

3rd Methods "Square Decartes for decision making".

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or question must be considered from 4 of different side. After all, we often get rid of one question: what will happen if this happens? Or what will I get if I do it? But you must ask yourself 1, and 4 questions:

• what will be, if this will happen? (pluses from this).
• what will be, if this NOT will happen ? (pluses from non-treatment of this).
• What Will not be, if this will happen? (Minuses from this).
• What Will not be, if this Will not happen? (Minuses from the non-treatment of this).

To be clearer, you can ask questions a little different:

4th Methods "Extension of choice".

This is a very important technique. Often we are just fought on one choice "yes or no", "do or not do" and forget to consider all other options in your perseverance. For example, buy this car on credit or not. If not, then continue to ride the subway. Because of the fact that we are covered only on the option "Yes, or not," we forget about other options. For example, an alternative ride on the subway can be the purchase of an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th Methods Jose Silva "Glass of Water".

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Her author of José Silva, who received fame in the world for the Silva method developed by him - Complex psychological exercises. You need to do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of water with clean not boiled with two hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that requires a solution. Then satisfied about half the water with small sips, repeating about themselves approximately such words: "It's all that I need to do in order to find the right decision." Open your eyes, put a glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, finish the water and thank for the right solution. The decision can clearly "come" immediately in the morning after awakening, and maybe it is among the day. The decision will come as an outbreak and will be perfect not clear how it could be doubted. Here it is the right decision.

6th Methods "Adhere to your basic priorities"

The technique is based on the ideas of philosophers Ancient Greece. "Ataraction" is calmness, calm. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the value system. After all, the most often the person is not peaceful and suffers from what does not receive the desired one.

The key to comprehet of happiness is very simple: you need to rejoice at what you have, and not desire what you can't have! (Oldhos Huxley)

Wise Greeks distributed the importance of values \u200b\u200band their basic priorities like this:

• Values \u200b\u200bNatural and Naturallike water and food.
• Values \u200b\u200bare natural, but not completely naturaldictated by the sociality of all people, for example, value higher education And other similar stereotypical values. Most of these values \u200b\u200bcan be free.
• Values \u200b\u200bare not natural and not natural. This is glory, success, sinovation, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, on the contrary, excessive praise. With these values \u200b\u200byou can easily say goodbye!

So, when you want something to get when making a decision, analyze the above classification if it really needs you Or it is not natural and not natural values \u200b\u200bimposed by the stereotypes of society. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th "wait" technique.

When making important and long-term solutions is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relations with your favorite people, or if you want to change the job, but we are afraid of change.

Sometimes to take the right decision, you just need to wait. You know that with impulsive desires it is often difficult to cope. At the same time, if you wait a bit, the desire can abide in itself. And what seemed the first need yesterday, today it seems not at all necessary. Not in vain say: "With this thought you need to sleep."

To get rid of emotionsYou can use the exercise called "10/10/10". We must answer the question "How I react to this after 10 hours / 10 months / 10 years?".

Summary.

You got the answer to the question how to make a decision if you doubt? And now you have to make your choice. During decision-making, it is important:

• disable emotions;
• listen to intuition;
• ask for advice in 2 closest people;
• consider other options, expand the choice;
• evaluate everything and against the square of Descartes;
• estimate whether the decision does not contradict your basic principles;
• if possible, postpone the decision, wait, "to sleep with this thought", using the Glass of Water Method.

Under all other circumstances be always confident in yourself and in your dreamdo not give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others think, but at the same time your decision will be correct only when after accepting it, you will be calm in the soul and you will be sure that no one hurt evil and do not go against your principles.

Do not be afraid, take exactly your decision, even if it turns out to be incorrect, because "no one stumbles, lying in bed" (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and solutions!

When people are divided into worst decisions made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in the attack of instinctive emotions:, passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z acted in life, which would cancel the decisions taken.

But we are not a slave of your mood. Instinctive emotions have a property to dull or go to no. So folk wisdom recommends in the case when you need to take important decision, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, by the way. He will not hurt to take note! Although for many solutions of one sleep is not enough. Need a special strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would suggest you strategy to achieve success at work and in life from Susy Welch (Suzy Welch) - the former editor-in-chief of Harvard Business Review, a popular author, telecommmists and a journalist. It is called 10/10/10 And it implies decision-making through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you treat it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to it in 10 years?

Concentrating its attention in these timing, we are distant by some distance from the problem of making an important decision.

And now consider the action of this rule on the example.

Situation: Veronica has a kirill guy. They have already found 9 months, but their relationship is difficult to call ideal. Veronica argues that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many respects he is exactly the one she was looking for throughout life. However, it is very worried that their relationships are not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. The infinite number of time is to develop relationships with Cyril, which is under 40, she does not have. For these 9 months, she never met with the daughter of Cyril from the first marriage, and in their pair did not sound the cherished "I love you" with anyone or the other side.

The divorce with his wife was terrible. After that, Kirill decided to avoid serious relationships. In addition, he holds daughter aside from his personal life. Veronica understands that he hurts him, but she is also offensive, that such an important part of her beloved closed for her.

Veronica knows that Kirill does not like to rush with decision-making. But should she choose a step itself and say "I love you" first?

The girl was advised to take advantage of the rules 10/10/10, and that's what came out of it. Veronica was asked to imagine, as if she had to decide right now - whether Kirill was recognized in love at the weekend or not.

Question 1: How do you react to this solution after 10 minutes?

Answer: "I think I would have worried, but at the same time proud of himself, which risked and said it first."

Question 2: What would you think about your decision if 10 months have passed?

Answer: "I don't think I will regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not risk, then does not drink champagne! "

Question 3: How do you react to your decision 10 years later?

Answer: "Regardless of how Cyril reacts, after 10 years the decision to admit to love is unlikely to be important. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else. "

Note, the rule 10/10/10 works! As a result, we have pretty a simple solution:

Veronica should take the initiative. She will be proud of himself if it will do it, and sincerely believes that he will not regret the deed, even if nothing happens with Cyril. But without a conscious analysis of the situation on the rule 10/10/10, the adoption of an important decision seemed extremely difficult. Short-term emotions - fear, nervousness and fear of being rejected - were distracting and restraining factors.

What happened to Veronica after, - you probably ask you. She still said "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in a suspended state. Kirill did not admit to her love. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her that he just needs a little more time to overcome his and confess to the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.

Eventually

Rule 10/10/10 helps you win on the emotional field of the game. The feelings you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem saturated and sharp, and the future - on the contrary, vague. Therefore, emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

Strategy 10/10/10 makes you change the angle of my vision: consider the moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point that you are looking in the present.

This method allows you to submit your short-term emotions in the future. It is not at all about what you must ignore them. Often they even help to get what you wish in a particular situation. But you do not have to allow emotions to prevail.

Remember the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with the boss, you allow emotions to take over you. If you present the opportunity to hold a conversation, after 10 minutes you will also be nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that we decided on this conversation? Greately sigh? Or will you feel pride?

And what if you want to encourage the work of a great employee and are going to offer him an increase: whether you will doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret your deed 10 months (suddenly other employees feel deprived), and whether it will be increase to have any value for your business after 10 years?

As you can see short-term emotions do not always bring harm. Rule 10/10/10 suggests that the consideration of emotions in the long term is not the only true. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot stand at the head of the table when you take important and responsible decisions.

Nata Karlin

The man, being at the crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What comes after we do or do something important? Be sure to end the world or will the world and harmony reign? Why are we rush to extremes? Is there really no golden middle?

From an early age, each person regularly becomes a choice:

Pants today to wear or skirt?
with handsome or spend the evening with smart and interesting fan?
Go to learn to the institute on calling or obeying parents in choosing a profession?
Get on an interesting or profitable job?

Continue can be infinite! How difficult it is to take the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as the choice of profession or workplace.

There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness of the decision. They can only be envied.

Fatalists-pofigistist.

This category of people involuntarily. They do not torment themselves with a choice, float towards the direction where "Fate finger will indicate. It is easier for them to stretch your hand, get out of the closet, for which they grabbed, and put it on, without thinking. For a date to go with those who call the first. To the Institute go to learn the one that. What work will come to the first, on the same stay until the end of life. And, because, in their own way, they are absolutely right! Why cause yourself to be unnecessary doubts if life itself puts everything into place?

Intuition.

There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of the choice. These are individuals with developed. Or those who believe that they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision. After all, the confidence is that intuition will not let them leave them.

But such people in the minority, the rest are tormented, tormented and doubt.

When they doubt the correctness of the decision taken, will help "Square Descartes"

What does a person believe when he does not know how to properly enter this particular situation?

Calculate the development of events to the smallest detail only if you use the theory of probability. And then the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do it. Therefore, trusting the will of the case, you can achieve the best resultsthan those when a person intends to "swim against the current" only in order to prove that the decision was true.

To learn to correctly evaluate the current problem and make a decisive step, use the "Cartait Square".

There are many ways that can show all "for" and "against" as a result of the adoption of one or another solution. For example, you can split the sheet of paper into two parts. In the first column, write out the advantages that you extract as a result of the decision made. In the second - minuses.

The most effective method is the "Cartait Square". Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which is a question that requires a detailed answer:

Positive parties from the execution of the desired. (What awaits, if you make the outlined);
Positive parties from the failure of the desired. (What awaits, if not accomplished);
Negative sides of the fulfillment of desires. (Which will be able to avoid, if you get the desired);
Negative sides of the failure of the desired. (What can be avoided if you do not get the desired).

Responding in every square on asked questionsYou will quickly come to the correct solution. Here you need to appreciate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and to adopt the only right one.

What affects the search for the right solution

What is the right decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and a point in which a person will get satisfying its needs and designs (decision). In this process, all human components are involved: Mind, Will, Character and Motivation. All this, it helps and prevents the solutions to correctly. Evaluate yourself, try to remember what exactly drives you at the moment when it is required to mobilize every effort to concentrate on one task. Mark up too much, and remove unnecessary.

The confirmation.

Being in finding a right decision, a person weighs all the components of the alleged success. Choose based on the facts, do not guide the speculation and ghostly "what if". Ignore the information you consider contradictory, look for rational grain.

Sequence.

Each action you take to solve the problem must be consistently.

Vector reflection about the problem should be directed at one point. Go to the shortest way without being distracted by lyrical deviations from the topic.

Mobility.

This refers to the ability of a person to a changing situation. With the advent of new facts that contradict the decision chosen by you, it is necessary to adequately assess the situation, and take appropriate measures.

Concentration.

During the adoption of an important decision for you, it is advisable to abstract from other problems. Brain's efforts must be sent to a specific task, the execution of which depends peace of mind, material well-being or future as a whole.

Selectivity.

Choose really decent attention facts. Mark extra information, do not consider it important that your attention and effort is not worth it.

Life experience.

In making serious decisions, it is not necessary to rely only on your own experience. Advise S. smart people, see the transfer, look for advice on the Internet or books.

Do not put your abilities at the chapter. The successes you have achieved earlier are a totality of your contribution, the help of surrounding and happy coincidence. Make conclusions from errors, try in the future not "to step on the same rake."

Concentrate, select the path you will go to making a solution, calm down and act. In the matter of awareness and development of an action plan, there should be no excessive hurry, fanaticism and overestimated forecasts for the result. These moments reduce the effectiveness of the process and give the victory of the bitter taste of dissatisfaction.

3 strategies will help not doubt your decision

The method of Canadian Professor Henry Minzberg is helpful to make a decision will help. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:

Act.

This process means that you do not have time to think. There is such a category of decision-making, which implies that there is simply no time for meditation. It is necessary to act immediately. Then the installation, laid by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and mistakes of other people come into force. To correctly evaluate such situations, learn how to learn from everything that gives you life. In a specific situation, it often saves.

The process of long thinking of the situation is inherent in representatives of Western culture. It implies the algorithm from the following actions:

And wording problems;
Systematization of data obtained;
Direction adjustment;
Evaluation of the parameters affecting the result and the choice of necessary funds for;
Search for alternative solutions and options for developing events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of the development of events;
Solution and action.

Intuition.

People who make decisions at the intuitive level are guided by the Nativity, which they themselves characterize how some "illuminated", which came suddenly. It happens that a person has been looking for a response to a specific question for a long time, which does not give him peace. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One day, he understands that there is no problem at all, there is already a solution to her head. In the subconscious of each person, a system of knowledge and life experience is hidden. At a critical moment, all the processes of the body are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate the setting.

Four decisions in the intuitive level are divided:

Identify the problem and collect information about it. In this process, thinking is involved, an emotional aspect, personal experience and the influence of the environment;
Concentration of all thinking functions on understanding the problem with the purpose of feeling depth and the possibility of solving it;
Insight (illuminated), which comes to replace reflections;
Rechecking facts comparative analysis The results of the development of events and the final adjustment.

How to make a decision and not doubt more

So, what is considered the most important factor for proper decision-making? Of course, a sufficient amount of time for thinking, systematization of factors, search right direction actions and choosing one solution from several possible. To learn how to make decisions that you never have to regret, use the following tips:

Time and place.

Do not act spontaneously in acceptance important steps. Note the time when you can be alone.

If the next morning you wake up with a sense of relief from the fact that, act! If not, the solution is not true, or not the only correct one.

The adoption of a fateful decision. You have the feeling that you stand in front of you, in which you left the forehead, and there is no passage. Pull yourself off the problem for a while. For example, go to the cinema to dispel. Take the brain from the load that causes it to work in stunt mode. But as soon as you feel that the feeling of gravity in the soul passed, return to the problem with new forces.

It is important and necessary.

Think over the need for what you are busy now. Indeed, this is worth it for you, what is worth spending effort and nerves? If you are standing on the right track, then doubts about the need to solve this problem need to be reflected. If not, then you should clearly decide for yourself - what is the benefit of you.

Taking a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Once again, appreciate the development options, compare them with the previous experience, remember the misses of friends, only after that proceed to perform the planned plan.

At that moment, when you realize that your solution is the only possible and correct, you will feel relief. Now everything has fallen into place. It is easier for you, but to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve the accuracy in the sequence of actions depends on.

February 24, 2014, 17:25

We make decisions every day. All we say and do is the result of our solutions (conscious or unconscious). None for one choice (an important or insignificant) there is no accurate unified decision-making formula. The best thing you can do is consider a specific solution from different points of view, then outline the action plan, which will seem to you the most reasonable and weighted. If you need to take an important solution, it may seem difficult. But there are some simple things that can be done so that the solution looks less frightening. For example, think about how events will develop with the worst scenario, as well as make a table to estimate the pros and cons of each solution, and follow your intuition. Read this article if you want to learn a little more about how to make decisions.

Steps

Part 1

Understand the source of your fear

Write about your fears. The maintenance of the diary regarding fears will help to understand them and as a result will help make a decision. Start writing about the solution you need to take. Describe (or make a list) of the consequences of the decision. Allow yourself to express all the thoughts about these fears, do not condemn and do not judge yourself.

• For example, you can start a diary, asking yourself: "What solution to I need to take? What do I need to do? What am I afraid, what can happen if I do the wrong choice? "

1. Think what can happen at the worst scenario. After you write about the solution you need to accept, as well as about the reasons why you are afraid of this solution, take the next step. Try to determine how events will develop at the worst situation. Put your solution in the framework of the scenario when everything can go wrong. Thus, the decision will be not so scary.

   Think whether the solution you take is permanent. As soon as you thought about everything that could go wrong, think about whether this solution is reversed. Most solutions are reversible, so you need to keep in mind that if you don't like it decisionIt can be changed, thereby configuring the situation.

   • For example, let's say you decide to leave work on incomplete employment to spend more time with your children. If you have problems with paying bills, you can change this decision, finding another job (for full-time).

2. Talk to another or family member. It is not necessary to accept the responsible and important decision on your own. Watch off using a trusted friend or family member who will help you or at least listen to your problems. Share with it information about this solution, as well as your concerns about what can go wrong. If you just talk about your concerns about some kind of solution, it will help you feel better. In addition, a close friend or someone from relatives can advise you something and support you.

   • You might think about talking to a person whom this situation does not concern in order to hear an independent opinion. A conversation with a psychologist can also be a useful solution in such a situation.
   • You can find on the Internet of those people who were in a similar situation. If you are trying to make a decision, choosing between full-time and incomplete working day (and time with children), you can ask for advice on the Internet forum for parents. Most likely, you will hear different opinions from people who had the opportunity to get into a similar situation. And you can also listen to people who will tell, how would they do, whether they are in your place.

   Part 2

   Think about the decision

   1. Calm down. Too strong emotions (positive and negative) can affect your ability to make rational solutions. When you need to take some decision, first of all it is necessary to calm down. If you cannot save calm, postpone decision making, until you can clearly think about it.

      Find as many information as possible. In most cases, it is much easier to make a decision when you have enough information to justify it. When making decisions (especially on important topics), it should be relying on logic. Find more information to have a better idea of \u200b\u200ball the variants of events.

      Use the technique "5 why" to understand your problem. Ask yourself the question "Why?" 5 times - this will help reveal the source of the problem and understand what reasons you accept this solution. For example, if you tried to decide whether to work for a full-time work or go to work in incomplete employment to spend more time with your family, here are options for "5 why":

      • "Why do I want to consider the option of work on incomplete employment?" Answer: "Because I work until late evening." "Why do I work until late in the evening?" Answer: "Because we have new projectwhich requires a lot of time. " "Why does this project need so much time?". Answer: "Because I'm trying to make my job qualitatively and succeed." "Why do I want to succeed?" Answer: "Because I want to earn more money and provide your family."
      • In this case, "5 why" show that you plan to reduce opening hours, even if you hope for promotion. Arises conflict situationwhich needs to be carefully analyzed to take the right decision.
      • Technique "5 why" also provides that this problem may be temporary - you work so much, because now you have a new project. Think: work will take you all the same time when you figure it out with a new project?

   2. Think about what your decision will affect. First of all, it is worth thinking how the solution will affect you. In particular, how will your decision affect your person? What are your values \u200b\u200band goals? Decisions that do not correlate with your values \u200b\u200band goals in the future will leave you dissatisfied.

      • For example, if the main value for you has what is your personality (that is, ambitions), then the transition to a new position (part-time) will be not the best choice because you are haunting your ambitions and want to advance by service, become the best worker in your company.
      • Your main values \u200b\u200bcan conflict with each other. For example, your basic values \u200b\u200bmay be ambitions and family. Then to make a right decision you will have to arrange priorities. Understanding how the decision will affect your values \u200b\u200bwill help make the right choice.
      • It is also worth thinking how the problem of decision making affects other people. Can your choice somehow adversely affect the people who are the roads? Take into account the feelings of all participants in this process (especially if you are married, or you have children).
      • For example, a decision on incomplete employment can have a positive impact on your children, as you can spend more time with them, but this decision can negatively affect you, because you may have to abandon your ambitions about promotion at work . It can also negatively affect your family, because income will decrease.

   3. List all the options that you have. At first glance it may seem that there is only one way out, but usually it is not. Even if your situation seems limited, try to make a list of possible options. Do not attempt to evaluate them until you make full list. Be careful. If you have any problems with solutions, discuss it with friends or family.

   4. Make up the table to estimate the pros and cons of each solution. If your problem is complicated, and you are simply overloaded possible consequencesThink over to create a spreadsheet. It can be written in the program Microsoft Excel.And you can draw it on paper.

      • To create a table, in the title of each column, write the option that is viewed. Each column is divided into two columns to compare the advantages and minuses. To evaluate each of the options, write in columns "+" or "-".
      • You can also evaluate each of the options for several points. For example, the option "Go to Party Employment" can be estimated at 5 points at that point, where it is indicated: "I will dinner with children every day." On the other hand, this option can be estimated at B -20 points in clause: "There will be a budget deficit".
      • After you finish with the table, you can put points for all solutions and think about what option is the highest score. Simply keep in mind that you may not be able to make a decision using only this strategy.

   5. Pull yourself up to give space thoughts. Creative people This may not even realize, but their ideas and solutions often come when they are not fighting over the search for these ideas. This means that creative and intellectual solutions And ideas often come to us when our consciousness is calm. That is why many people are engaged in meditation.

      • It is important to ask questions and collect information and tips before making a decision, but if you want to take a truly creative and reasonable decision, you need to stop thinking or at least calm down. Respiratory meditation is one of the methods that make it possible to give their thoughts space. With this technique you can come to creative ideas. In addition, this technique does not have to devote too much time. You can study breathing exercises, performing everyday affairs, for example, when cleaning teeth, cooking, walking, and so on. More information can be found in this article.
      • Consider the following example: the musician has certain knowledge and information on how to create music, how to play a tool, sing, compose songs and so on. But it is the creative approach that manages these knowledge. Yes, the ability to play the instrument and sing is important skills, but the essence of this game is in a creative approach.

   6. Learn to distinguish a pulse and reasonable solution. The impulse solution usually passes after a while. For example, you may have a pulse idea to eat something, buy something, go somewhere and so on. A reasonable decision remains in consciousness for a long time. For days, weeks and months.

      • A reasonable solution can also come in the form of a pulse, but remember that after a while you will feel that you still support this solution. That is why we advise you to collect more information and ask yourself a few questions - it helps to calculate reasonable solutions.
      • Experiment: Pay attention to your actions after a few deep breaths - this is a comparison with the when your actions are due to a pulse solution.

   Part 3.

   Take a decision

   1. Give yourself advice as if you advised something to a friend. Sometimes you need to retreat to make the right choice. Think about what you would told a good friend who, suppose, was in such a situation? What decision would it be advised to accept him? What would you try to draw a friend's attention regarding his decision? Why don't you follow your own advice?

      • Try to play a role using such a strategy. Just sit down near the chair and make a look as if you are someone else, talking to you.
      • If you don't really want to sit and pretend that you are talking to ourselves, you can try to write a letter in which some tips will be offered. Start a letter with words: "Dear (Aya) ____, I analyzed your situation. I think that the best solution will be ____. " Continue your letter, explaining its point of view (independent opinion).

   2. Play in the devil lawyer. This game will help you understand how you really feel about the decision, because in the game you will have to stick to the opposite opinion and try to pretend to be your own point of view. If your arguments about some kind of solutions really make sense, you will have a new information that you should have in mind.

      • To play in a devil's lawyer, try to start a dispute with yourself for any reason when you need to make the right choice. If you challenge your choice is quite simple, perhaps you will understand what is better to make another choice.
      • For example, if you are leying towards spending more time with your children, try to challenge your decision. Declare yourself that they could spend more time with children on weekends and during holidays. You can also state that money and potential career growth that you lose will affect the quality of family dinners. So you will understand that it is possible that full-time will bring your children more benefits than extra clock communication with you. In addition, work on full employment will benefit to you and your ambitions - and this also deserves attention.

How often do you hesitate when you need to take a solid solution? We think it happens constantly. How do we know that? Such such. Our generation is knocked out soil under your feet. When there is no foundation in the form, faith, valuables, then the decision is always difficult to take. You have to focus only on yourself, and not on the "big brother", which will be happy to make a decision for you. On the one hand, it is difficult to live without such a help and scary - you do not know where you move, do not know what will happen tomorrow. On the other hand, when you have to think only your head, then a strong and enterprising person is born.

But even strong Mira This can not always take a solid and meaningful solution. Sometimes you have to improvise, because a person in nature cannot analyze everything, to predict - he cannot be confident in everything. It happens that the time works against you, and the circumstances with the enemies. At such moments, the worst thing you can do is to fall into a stupor. Men are not falling into a stupor - even in an uncontrolled situation, they retain a sound reason. Remember, even if you think you're not going to rely on, - you are mistaken. Your life, your experience, your knowledge, your ideas are something that can not be taken away. This is your personal foundation, with which we will teach you to make decisions - they will not always be true, but they will at least. And this is good.

Choose less from evil

Which will never endure. If you need to make an unpleasant solution, then appreciate the risks, write down the negative consequences of each decision, think about the probability of failure and choose the solution that will give you the least problems. If the sovereigns were at least occasionally guided by this non-school rule, the economic, political and military crises would be significantly less.

Act pragmatic

However, the choice of smaller evil will not always be the best solution. Sometimes you need to concentrate all the attention on the benefit. Forget about the moral principles, forget about fear and remember that risks can be justified, and may not be justified. If you have a real opportunity to benefit, then why not try to do it? It would seem that the Council of Banalen, but in Russia, in our opinion, very rarely listened to him - the population was completely forgotten about the word "pragmatism", preferring to him the words "stability", "spirituality", "Debt". No, if you want to live well, then you need to make decisions that you will bring money, influence, pleasure, in other words - benefits. This is pragmatism.

Jump without regrets

If you can't take a pragmatic solution, then it can be causes. For example, you may not have enough time for this, or you simply cannot adequately assess the benefits and associated risks. In this case, you need to trust intuition or case. Yes, you can make a mistake - chances of 50 to 50, - but it is better than waiting for the decision to take for you. If you are afraid to trust intuition, then there is a simple but effective method Accept any decision - to throw a coin. Thus, you trust the fate of the decision of your luck, the case, Fatum. This is withdrawn with you responsibility (at the psychological level) of incorrect choice. In life, fully events, when you just need to do, and not think.

Operate ideas

Previously, people trusted the gods, holy books, authorities. Many still focus on similar authorities when they think about what decision to take is normal. Such behavior is laid in human nature. The beauty of the XXI century is that today you can choose authorities for yourself, to build an ideological concept, which may not work for the whole society, but will work for you. If you have a principle, your own understanding of honor or moral landmarks, then why not use them when you will make your choice? Just ask yourself questions: "I do it right?", "My decision relates to my ideas?" "I do not do something bad?". Not always the answer will be unequivocal, but you, anyway, you can make a choice.

Simplify the choice

If we talk about domestic things, then the man should be easier - as it was before. For example, if a man chose a shirt in the store, he looked at the size, color and, perhaps, the form is everything. Now, because of the abundance of the shirts, you can not choose the right not because it is not, but because they are too much, and you too dwell on things. The same applies to food and drink. If before coffee was, today you will be offered Mokachino, Cappuccino, Makiato, American, Latte. You can choose something "suitable" with mad eyes, but there will be one essence - you will choose coffee anyway. So why not immediately choose "just coffee"? Why wade an hour to spend on choosing a movie in a movie theater when you can just see the poster and choose the first movie that happened, which is more or less correlated with your interests? Be easier - and then life will cease to be so complicated.

Do not do anything

The lack of solution is also a solution. But only if it comes to fear before the choice. When you're afraid to choose, you always and everywhere take a bad solution, even if everything is fine for you. When you consciously do not choose and remain a fixed, then you take a good solution, even if the result is sad. The essence in awareness, and not as a result.