warned:

“Beware most of all to curse and condemn our neighbors - we have something to hope for, our sinful ulcers stink, we must be diligent about them. You will not give an answer for others, but for yourself. "

He wrote to spiritual children:

“True servants of God do not allow themselves to judge about anything. They firmly remember the Gospel parable of the Lord: two people enter the church to pray, one is a Pharisee, and the other is a publican. And the Pharisee began to count his good qualities before the Lord, and for this he was rejected by the Lord. The tax collector does not dare to lift his eyes to heaven, and pray with humility: God, be merciful to me, a sinner! And for this, despite the great number of his sins, he not only received forgiveness, but also justification. "

The Monk Joseph, in a letter to a spiritual child, pointed out the danger of condemnation for earthly life and eternal life, for the salvation of the soul:

“You must lag behind sins, and especially those to which you are most susceptible, otherwise you will not only deserve eternal torment with them, but on earth you can still suffer a lot from people and from diseases, until you humble yourself. What goes around comes around. If you condemn the sisters, you will be subjected to condemnation and reproach from them, and if the authorities, then listen, says Holy Scripture: “The fury of the authorities is the fury of the lion” (cf. Proverbs 20: 2). Make yourself compelled to correct. The world of ty. "

Spiritual Consequences of Judgment

Loss of grace

The Monk Ambrose explained that because of us we are losing grace, and having lost grace, a person feels a chill towards prayer and reading spiritual books:

"You also complain that you are too lazy to read and pray: this is for you because you sort out other people's affairs a lot and soon make a conclusion."

Despondency and despair

He warned that one is allowed to languish with despondency and despair for condemnation:

“I think that it is not for anything else that you were allowed to languish in despair, as soon as for the glimpse and condemnation of your neighbors. Leave it and try to see your sins, then you will humble yourself ... If we examine and judge the deeds and actions of our neighbors, then when will we remember our own? "

Temptations and excitement of passions

He explained that after proud thoughts and temptations often follow, passions begin to disturb:

“It is evident that for pride the Lord allowed temptation to be with you after the communion of the Holy Mysteries. Try to humble yourself more and not to condemn others, to consider yourself one sinner and worse than all and not to condemn others, then the passions will bother you less ”.

In what you condemn - in that you yourself will be

Sometimes people are kept from falling, like spiritual babies, by the grace of God. But if they begin to take pride in their perfection, ascribing it to themselves, and not to the action of God's protective grace, if they begin to condemn the fall of their neighbors, then grace departs from those who condemn, and they fall into the same sins as those whom they condemned.

The Monk Macarius wrote to his child:

“Reading about the falls of people, marvel at the mercy of God and remove from yourself the embarrassment of talking about you or anything else. It is nothing to wonder at the fact that you were not struggled with passions before: you were still a baby, and nothing reached you. But is this really salvation, so as not to be struggling, but to think a lot about yourself? And not know your passions and weaknesses? Knowing them, humble yourself and learn to struggle and humility. "

The Monk Ambrose warned about this:

"He who judges and condemns will do the same afterwards, from which God save us."

“Now another one thinks:“ I go to church, but that one doesn't go - well, what is she! And that's what it does - what does it look like? " - Yes, everything is waving and waving his pen, he considers himself better than others. You look, and she went up to the point that she fell below those whom she condemned. "

Elder Joseph warned:

"Try not to condemn anyone: in what you condemn others, you yourself will fall."

How to avoid and keep peace of mind

The Monk Macarius reminded of the fear of God, of the need for self-reproach, repentance, advised more often to read the holy fathers:

“It would be very necessary to refrain from condemnation, so as not to be condemned ourselves. We must remember this commandment of God and have the fear of God, remember our sins and beware, and in case of forgetfulness and encroachment, immediately reproach ourselves and repent. Yes, read about this more often the teachings of the Holy Ladder and Abba Dorotheos and thus restrain yourself. "

The Monk Ambrose advised:

“When you condemn someone, then say to yourself:“ You hypocrite! First remove the log from your hairline and then you will know how to remove the mote from your neighbor's eye ”.

The Monk Joseph taught, against the thoughts of condemnation, to pray the prayer of Saint Ephraim the Syrian and to recall our own infirmities:

“It is good to pray against thoughts of condemnation:“ To her, Lord, King, grant me to see my sins and not to condemn my brother (or my sister) ”and so on.”

“If the thought comes to condemn someone, then arm yourself against it by prayer. This is the main weapon. And besides, bring your weaknesses in memory, that you yourself are the worst of all. "

The Monk Barsanuphius warned about the danger of the thoughts of the enemy:

“The main thing that is required of every person is not to condemn anyone. It seems simple, but start performing - it will be difficult. The enemy strongly attacks a person and inspires him with thoughts of condemnation. The Lord says: “Forgive me,” and the enemy instills: “Take revenge on the offender. He reviles you, and you revile him, ”and so on. You don't need to listen to the enemy, you need to fight him. "

Avoid a condemning society

Elder Macarius advised avoiding a society where someone is condemned, but not judging those who condemn, but remembering our weaknesses and sins:

“You ask for guidance, how not to get carried away into condemnation yourself, listening to others condemning? Seems, the best remedy- less often to be in such societies. And when it already happens to be there, then do not judge them for what they condemn, but remember that you are even weaker than them for this; when you are carried away by gossip yourself, then bring repentance and humble yourself. "

Condemnation has to be fought all my life.

The Monk Barsanuphius recalled: one has to struggle with condemnation and irritation all one's life, and it is difficult to avoid these passions when one lives among people. But without struggle, without falls and the knowledge of one's own weakness, there would be no humility and spiritual growth. The elder recalled his first months in the monastery:

“Irritation and condemnation are also passions that you have to fight all your life. When I entered here under Father Anatoly, I told him that I would like to live in privacy.

- In the shutter?

“Yes,” I say.

- Well, you won't go to the bathhouse either?

- Of course.

- Yes, that's what I'm talking about, that you won't go to the bathhouse.

“You, father,” I say, “do you mean something else by“ bathhouse ”?

- Yes, the desert, the shutter does not cleanse us. I can live in the desert with my passions and apparently not sin. We cannot know our weakness, our vices, irritation, condemnation, anger and more there. And here they are cleaning us: as soon as they begin to "force", just hold on - we will recognize our weaknesses and humble ourselves. Here, without your request, they will begin to clean you. Whenever you act, everyone seems to be angels, and then you begin to see vices, and the further you go, the more - you have to fight this. ”

Dawn of Spiritual Meekness

If we learn to fight against the thoughts of condemnation, and, on the contrary, become accustomed to self-reproach and self-accusation, then, according to the wise words of the Monk Leo, our heart will become soft and meek and the soul will feel spiritual peace:

“Thus, we will regard those who offend us as benefactors. And when we begin to accustom ourselves to self-accusation, then we will imperceptibly succeed in internal accusation (of ourselves), then our heart, with the help of the Highest, can become in the spiritual sense soft, meek. Man will become a repository of grace and spiritual peace. Then the soul will feel such a world that we are in a state of sorrow to feel, or, better to say, to taste, we cannot. This world will enlighten the mind of the ascetic.

The dawn of spiritual meekness will spread its rays on the mind, word, intelligent feeling. Then he can more conveniently repel evil, conquer and devote his heart to everything that is only salutary. "

Help us, Lord, on this difficult path! "To her, Lord, King, grant me to see my transgressions and not to condemn my brother."

(12 votes: 4.9 out of 5)

Archpriest Georgy Breev

The rector of the Church of the Nativity of the Most Holy Theotokos in Krylatskoye, Archpriest Georgy Breyev, discusses why it is so customary and natural to condemn, how and why to deal with it, why Christ does not judge anyone, and what to do with the concept of the Last Judgment.

If you look at yourself and try to see our inclinations, then we will easily notice that we have an already developed habit of condemnation.

Priests, confessing people, very rarely meet a person who could say: "But I do not condemn anyone." It's nice to hear, but such a state is rather an exception ...

Condemnation is a manifestation of our pride, by which we arrogate to ourselves the ability to judge another person. Self-exaltation is characteristic of every person, it is deeply instilled in all of us. The feeling of self-satisfaction, self-worth always warms us from the inside: "He is so beautiful, good, and I am even more beautiful and better!" - and immediately we feel warm in our souls. Everything pleasant that we hear in our address makes us happy, but just say something contrary to our opinion about yourself ... oh, you are my brother! Some even get furious with this: "What did you say to me ?!" A sense of self-worth can be a powerful incentive to reach many heights, it is a powerful engine! But still, we know that it works on the energies of the flesh, earthly. And we know that the Scripture says: "God opposes the proud" ...

The feeling of pride cannot be overcome, it is very strong. And if a person does not fight him, does not reject him from himself, then naturally he has a need to judge others from the height of his self-conceit: “I am so tall and perfect, but I don’t see perfection all around, so I have the right to reason and hang "Shortcuts" to others. " And now people are trying to get together, talk, discuss how he lives, like this one. And they themselves do not notice how they begin to condemn, at the same time they justify themselves: "I do not condemn, I reason." But in such reasoning there is always a tendency to paint a person in dark, dark colors.

This is how we begin to take upon ourselves what does not belong to us - judgment. And more often than not we do it not openly. For example, let's look at someone and think to ourselves: "Aha, this person is of such and such a kind, this is how he is tuned." This is a slippery slope and a misconception!

***

There is a very deep expression in Scripture: For who among men knows what is in a man, besides the human spirit that lives in him?(1 Cor 2 :eleven). And further: Likewise, no one knows God, except the Spirit of God.(1 Cor 2 :12). By this, the Lord immediately determines the depth that is characteristic of a person. You cannot fully know a person! Even if you thoroughly investigate his biography, there is still a lot of innermost things in him that only he himself is able to experience and feel.

If this depth in the approach to a person is absent, then all our judgments are rather superficial. Therefore, the Lord directly says: Why are you looking at the speck in your brother's eye, but you don't feel the beam in your eye? Or, how can you say to your brother: brother! let me take the speck out of your eye, when you yourself do not see the beam in your eye? Hypocrite! first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see how to remove the speck from your brother's eye(OK 6 :41–42).

From the outside, we can imagine a person in any light, but truly, deeply knowing him is only given to him - if, of course, he tests himself, if he wants to know himself, and not just as one of millions, but himself in the face of God. Because when we evaluate ourselves differently - in front of other people or based on our own opinion - it seems to us: yes, we really are some kind of special, worthy, and certainly not criminals. As the Pharisee said: “I am not like other people. I fulfill the law of God, I fast, I give tithes. " It naturally spills out of us. And it indicates that we do not have a deep knowledge of ourselves.

***

Knowledge, knowledge of man about himself and about God- it seems to me that there is a source of non-condemnation. It is given either by grace, or as a result of deed, inner work. And condemnation occurs because, on the one hand, we are not inclined to deep knowledge of ourselves, and on the other hand, we have not reached the level of repentance.

Looking into oneself is the beginning of a spiritual process. Conscience gives a person knowledge about himself, and seeing himself, he sometimes even comes to hatred: “I hate myself like that! I don't like myself like that! " Yes, you have come to the knowledge of yourself, it is bitter, but this knowledge is perhaps the most important, the most essential in life. Because here is the starting point of repentance, the opportunity for the rebirth of your mind, a qualitative change in your attitude towards yourself and the whole world, and above all, towards your Creator and Creator.

Why is it said that there is more joy in heaven for one repentant sinner than for a hundred righteous people who do not need to repent? Because it is difficult, but necessary, to come to this understanding: "It turns out that by my nature I am no different from others, my nature is from the old Adam, I am the same by nature as my brother."

But we do not want to know ourselves, to examine ourselves with a probing eye, because this will require the next step - the search for an answer to the question: "Why is this so in me?" The carnal opposes the spiritual, this is the law of internal warfare. Therefore, people choose a more natural and seemingly simple way - to look around, to judge others, and not about themselves. They do not realize that this is causing them great damage ...

***

Seeing, a person begins to understand that God doesn't judge anyone... The Gospel of John says this directly: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him(Ying 3 : 16-17). Associated with the Messiah is the idea that He will be invested with royal power and will come to judge the nations as having a truly Divine judgment. But then it suddenly turns out that God did not come to judge us, but to save us! This mystery is really amazing, it is amazing for us! And if God does not judge us, then who can judge?

Therefore, condemnation is the erroneous attitude of our consciousness, the erroneous idea that we have power. What if God Himself renounces this power? The Scripture says that the Father gave judgment to the Son, and the Son says, "I did not come to judge you."

But at the same time The Lord does not hide that there will be a righteous Judgment, which, as Lermontov wrote, "is not available to the ringing of gold." God will reveal himself, and in this appearance all creation will see itself as it is. Now the Lord hides Himself because of our weaknesses, our imperfections, and when the full revelation of God comes, then there will be nothing to hide. The books of conscience will unfold, everything secret will be revealed, and a person will give an answer for his every word. And then the Lord says: He who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge for himself: the word that I have spoken, it will judge him on the last day(Ying 12 :48). He shows that our idea of ​​the court as a kind of extraordinary, super-personal, authoritative trial - as in our earthly courts, when a whole collegium of judges gathers, examines huge volumes on the case and makes a decision - is not entirely correct. God doesn't make a decision. He gives freedom, always gives a person the opportunity to improve: step back from unhealthy norms that bring no joy to you or to people. Thus, a person is free to choose until the end.

They say it's hard to get under human judgment, because people in their judgments can be very cruel, fundamentally cruel: they pronounced a sentence on you - that's it, and try to change yourself in the eyes of the public! But God's judgment is merciful, because the Lord wants to justify a person: I do not want the death of the sinner, but for the sinner to turn from his way and live(Ezek 33 :11).

***

The line between condemnation of a person and condemnation of an act it's hard for us not to cross! But it is said: do not judge a person's personality, do not judge him as the image and likeness of God. The Holy Spirit does not accept when we arrogate to ourselves the power to give a harsh assessment to another. Yes, even if his bad, ugly act is worthy of condemnation, but you do not judge the person as a person! He can correct himself tomorrow, follow the path of repentance, become different - such an opportunity is not taken away from a person until his last breath. We do not know to the end neither God's providence about him, nor how dear he is to God, - after all, Christ shed His blood for all, redeemed everyone and did not condemn anyone. Therefore, we simply have no right to judge ourselves!

Yes, Christ scattered the merchants at the temple with a scourge, but this is not condemnation, but a volitional action directed against lawlessness. It says in the Scripture: Jealousy for your house is eating me away(Ying 2 : 17). There are similar examples in our life. When we see that someone's actions go beyond the spiritual and moral framework, that someone communicates a lot of evil to people, then, of course, we can react, call to order, pull the person up: “What are you doing? Come to your senses! See what that in itself means. "

But such is our nature distorted by sin that negative emotions they immediately ask to go out in any situation, for no reason: you just looked at a person, and you are already measuring him, evaluating his external merits - but you have to stop yourself. Judge not, lest you be judged, for with what judgment you go, you will be judged; and with what measure you mete, it will be measured to you also(Mt 7 :1–2) - these words of the Lord at any time, at every place should be a reminder to us. A great deal of sobriety is needed here. And adherence to principles: “No, Lord, You are the One Judge, You are the One Humanitarian, You do not want perdition for anyone and did not utter words of condemnation even over the most terrible sinners. Even crucified, You prayed: "Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing."

***

I remember I had such a parishioner, from the common people, who said: “ Father, God will have mercy on everyone, forgive everyone, I believe that everyone will be saved!“She, out of the kindness of her heart, did not want to judge anyone and believed that all people have something good to learn. This attitude is achieved by sobriety of the mind, when the soul is nourished with true examples, the Gospel. And everyone who prays every day reads the Scripture - a special attitude, a special mood! Those who have felt grace feel the love of God for everyone, therefore they do not want to accept any malicious attacks or stinging feelings towards others.

We Christians have a tough example of people of high spirituality in this respect. They loved everyone, pitied everyone, did not condemn anyone, and even vice versa: the weaker a person, the more visible defects he has, the more attention and love the saints showed to such people; appreciated them very much, because they saw that the truth would reach them, because they were prepared for this by their hardest lives. And pride, on the contrary, will always find terrible judgments that are ready to depersonalize any person.

"Everything is bad and everything is bad!"- this is the spirit of pride, the demonic spirit, this is the narrowing of our heart. It sets in motion such a mechanic from which people themselves suffer. Any condemnation is the introduction of some kind of darkness into oneself. The Gospel of John the Theologian contains the following words: He who believes in Him is not condemned, but the unbeliever is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the Only Begotten Son of God. The judgment is that light came into the world, but people loved darkness more than light, because their deeds were evil(Ying 3 : 18-19). By condemning, a person violates the spiritual law of life in God and immediately receives a notification that he has sinned grossly. How many times has this happened: someone prayed, asked God for mercy, forgiveness, and the Lord gave him - and the person left the service renewed! But he met someone on the way from the temple, and condemnation began: and you are so and so, and he is so and so. Everything. He lost everything he had just acquired! And many holy fathers say: just looked askance at someone, took a bad thought about a person - right there grace leaves you. She does not tolerate condemnation, which is completely opposite to the spirit of the gospel.

***

How to deal with judgment? First, John Chrysostom has this advice: if you have sinned in thought, immediately repent in your mind. I thought about my relative, about my friend something bad, caught myself doing this: “What are these thoughts? Why am I like this? Lord, forgive me for this instant manifestation! I do not want it".

Second: when inner feeling encourages you to give a negative assessment to someone, you immediately turn to yourself: are you free from this lack? Or do you not know anything behind yourself, for which one could reproach you? And - you will feel that you are the same as the one whom you are ready to condemn!

In ancient times, there was still such a "golden" rule. When you are struggling with a feeling of indignation and cannot understand why this person did this, then put yourself in his position, in his place, and this person in yours. And a lot will immediately become clear to you! It is very sobering. So I got into the position of another: “My God, how many difficulties he has in his life! There are difficulties in the family, there is no understanding with his wife, with children ... Indeed, how difficult it is for him, the poor! "

The holy fathers have another rule. Do you want to judge someone? And you put Christ in his place. Will the Lord judge? But even when He was crucified, Christ did not condemn anyone, on the contrary, He suffered for everyone. So why did I suddenly think that I was higher than God, made myself a judge?

***

Condemnation can be avoided anyway... Because a person is built in such a way that he can always protect the personality of another, not put a stigma on him, but immediately follow the path of reasoning: "I know how wonderful he is, how many difficulties he had, and he endured everything."

Condemnation is a misdirected heart. So I meet a person, and instead of joy I have thoughts: "Aha, again he is walking with a cigarette" or "Again he is tipsy, so and so." There are no good motivations here that should be. On the way, there is the temptation to condemn - you can't go anywhere! But before the stream of judgmental thoughts spills out, I must first put myself in my place and give room for judgment.

I like the saying of a modern Greek ascetic, monk Paisius Svyatogorets: "A modern man should be a 'factory of good thoughts'." We must be ready to accept and understand a person’s personality: yes, it’s hard for him, he found himself in difficult circumstances, his life broke him, but still there is something good, whole in him, something that makes it possible not to exclude him from the list people are decent, good. The internal development of such good thoughts, acceptance of any person, in any of his qualities, no matter how he looks and behaves, - as a protective environment, it will not allow the heart to accept the evil, destructive area of ​​a person. But you destroy your neighbor in your soul when you give him a bad description.

Man himself is wonderful! As one ascetic said, if we knew how beautiful the human soul is, we would be surprised and would not condemn anyone. Because the human soul is truly magnificent. But it will open up - as it always happens in all our fairy tales - at the last moment ...

I confess that sometimes it is very pleasant to discuss friends with your husband and come to the conclusion that they are clearly living the wrong way. But it will be sad if all our conversations with my husband are reduced to a discussion of friends and acquaintances.

Of course, discussion, gossip and judgments of others are not welcome and are considered ugly. But I don't know anyone who hasn't suffered from this bad habit. Unfortunately, subjectivity is human nature.

But one of my acquaintances is too keen on this "hobby", so it became impossible to communicate with her. She lives someone else's life. But there are so many in the world different cultures and religions - no wonder people are different from each other. It is much easier to condemn them and thus raise your own self-esteem. The renowned theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer said: "... judging others, we are blind to our own misfortunes and grace."

It is better to pay close attention to your own failures and mistakes: working with them will be much more productive for you. Therefore, psychologists have developed several rules to help you end this bad habit.

1. Analyze.

The first thing you should do is understand the nature of these thoughts. After all, it all starts with a thought. And, if you get too carried away, you can lose the respect of your friends and loved ones. Try to realize that everyone is imperfect. Although all people live on the same planet, breathe the same air and have the same body structure - we are all different! The main difference is the inner world that a person creates on his own. If you are aware of this, you can break the habit of judging others.

2. More self-criticism.

Do we have the right to judge other people? Do we really know "how to do it right"? I think this is not the case. If you notice a habit of condemnation, then you need to ask yourself the question - "Why?". Why do you need to judge others?

3. Forgive them.

I know from my own experience how difficult it is to break this habit. But try replacing condemnation with forgiveness. People who are prone to criticism often simply take offense at those whom they condemn. To begin with, you should forgive yourself - after all, judging others, we simply transfer our inner feelings of anger and resentment to them. Over time, this will help you build respectful relationships with yourself and others.

4. Try to get into someone else's skin.

Each person has his own life path... And it is very easy to condemn, being in the right place. Most likely, you have no idea what you are talking about. Try to imagine the circumstances in which the one you are criticizing is acting. Maybe a helping hand is needed here, not criticism?

5. Set a goal.

Make it a goal to break your judgmental habit. Believe me - you are strong enough in spirit for this. Do something more useful, then you will be too busy to think about other people. You simply won't have time for negative thoughts - new responsibilities and interests will push them out of your head.

6. Find out the facts.

Unfortunately, the easiest way to criticize is when you don't own complete information... If you do not want to look like an ordinary gossip, then try to refrain from discussions until you have complete information. Perhaps, having found out all the facts, you will decide to help the person and will not judge him.

7. Compassionate.

Many people mistakenly think that compassion is a sign of weakness, but this is not the case. When you are compassionate, you automatically look for ways to help the person. It is a medicine that will help you stop criticizing and judging other people. Compassion will make you a wise, noble, and wonderful person.

Like everyone else, I had a problem with the fact that I spent a lot of time discussing and judging other people. Seeing that this was becoming an unhealthy habit, I began to work on myself and got rid of the heavy judicial burden.

Have you ever struggled with this habit? Have you been able to get rid of it?

The sin of condemnation is one of the most insidious, insinuating, unnoticed, and therefore the most common sins. He easily disguises himself: condemning, we see this as a manifestation of our own morality, justice, as well as intelligence, insight: "I see who he is, you can't fool me." Unlike sins committed by action, the sin of verbal condemnation in most cases does not bear directly observable practical consequences: said - so what? We can assume that he did not speak. As for the condemnation of the mental - this is the constant involuntary work of the brain, on which few of us can reflect, and chronic inflammation of the nerves, which very few people also avoid. Many of us are accustomed to saying “I sin with condemnation” at confession as something formal-duty - it is clear who does not sin!

However, we must ponder: why did the holy fathers, the teachers of the Church, devote such attention to this sin? What exactly are we doing when we judge others? And how can we, if not get rid of, then at least begin to fight this evil in our souls?

About condemnation - another conversation with the editor-in-chief of our magazine, Hegumen Nektariy (Morozov).

- Father Nektarios, we have already tried here to determine the reasons for the prevalence of this sin - are there any others?

- The sin of condemnation is common, as is the sin of lying, as are all sins that we commit solely by word. These sins are convenient, perfectible, because, unlike the sins committed by deed, they do not require any special conditions or circumstances - our language is always with us. It seems to me that there are two main reasons for condemnation: firstly, no matter what we think or say about ourselves, we actually feel very well our imperfection, we understand that we are not reaching what we would like to be. For an unbeliever, this feeling of his own imperfection lies in one plane, for a believer, a church-going person - in another: we understand that we are not living the way Christians should live, our Christian conscience denounces us of this. And here there are two ways: either to selflessly work on yourself in order to achieve peace with your conscience, or to condemn others in order to look even a little better against their background; in order to assert oneself in this way at the expense of one's neighbor. But here the spiritual law comes into play, about which the holy fathers wrote a lot: looking at the sins of others, we cease to notice our own. And when we stop noticing our own sins and shortcomings, we become especially merciless to the sins and shortcomings of others.

Why were the saints so compassionate for the weaknesses of their neighbors? Not only because Divine love lived in their hearts, but also because they themselves, from their own experience, learned how difficult it is to overcome sin in themselves. After going through this terrible internal struggle, they could no longer condemn someone who fell: they understood that they themselves could have fallen or fell, perhaps in the past in the same way. Abba Agathon, when he saw a man who had sinned, always said to himself: “Look how he fell: you will fall in the same way tomorrow. But he will most likely repent, but will you have time for repentance? "

This is one reason for condemnation, and the other is an abundance of completely real reasons for condemnation. Man is a fallen being, corrupted by sin, and there are always plenty of examples of behavior worthy of condemnation. Another question - deserving of whose condemnation? Divine judgment, yes. And we - do we have the right to condemn?

- But how not to condemn when you are faced with baseness, meanness, rudeness, savage cruelty? .. In such cases, condemnation is the natural self-defense of a human being.

- That's right - natural. And to be a Christian, you need to overcome your nature. And live in some supernatural way. We ourselves will not succeed, but with God's help everything is possible.

- And to cope with condemnation too, of course; but what do we ourselves have to do for this?

- First of all - not to give yourself the right to judge someone, to remember that the judgment belongs to God. It is very difficult in fact, each of us knows how difficult it is not to give ourselves the right to judge. Remember the Gospel commandment: do not judge, lest you be judged (Matt. 7: 1). There is such an example from the patericon: a monk, who was considered the most careless in the monastery, was dying in such a silence of the heart, in such peace with God, in such joy that the brethren were perplexed: how could it be, because you did not live ascetic at all, why did you so dying? He replied: yes, I didn’t live very well, but I never judged anyone. The fear of being condemned is the obstacle that you can put yourself in order not to sin with condemnation.

But personally, I am close to the way of dealing with condemnation, about which the Monk Anatoly Optinsky spoke. He clothed him in this short formula: have pity - and you will not condemn. As soon as you begin to feel sorry for people, the desire to condemn them disappears. Yes, it is not always easy to regret, but without it you cannot live like a Christian. You are talking about the natural self-defense of a person from evil; Yes, we suffer from evil, from someone else's sin, we feel sorry for ourselves, we are afraid, and we want to defend ourselves. But if we are Christians, we must understand - in this case, not so much we, as the one who does evil is unhappy. After all, he will have to answer for this evil in some terrible, perhaps, way. When this truly Christian pity for the sinning person is born, the desire to condemn disappears. And in order to learn to pity, in order to force your heart to this pity, you have to pray for this person. This has long been known: you begin to pray - and the desire to condemn disappears. The words that, perhaps, you are still saying, are not filled with such destructive power, which they were filled with before, and then you stop saying them altogether. But it is worth forgetting about prayer - and the condemnation, which has already sunk into the depths, again breaks out to the surface.

- And what else is needed besides a prayer for enemies - to melt aggression, anger into pity for them? Maybe a vision of your own sinfulness?

- Another Optina elder, the Monk Ambrose, who loved to clothe his spiritual lessons in a half-joking form, said: "Know yourself - and it will be with you." In the soul, in the heart of each of us, there is such an immense world, a world that needs to be dealt with for earthly life. We have so much to do with ourselves, and how often we do not find time or energy for this. But when we take on other people, for the analysis of their sins - for some reason, time and energy are found. Judging others is The best way distract from ourselves, from working on ourselves, which in fact should be our most important business.

Reading about the saints, you often think: how did he, this saint, live in the very crucible of temptation, in the very thick of human sin, besides, hundreds, thousands of people confessed to him, committing, perhaps, terrible sins - and he did not seem to notice everything this, lived as if it did not exist? And he was busy trying to correct, cleanse from sin a tiny particle of this world - himself. And therefore he was not disposed to indulge in the sins and weaknesses of other people. And to pray - yes, I prayed for them and therefore regretted them. For me, Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) will always remain a visible example of such a life - a man from whom it was almost impossible to hear a word of condemnation. He just never judged anyone! Although he confessed great amount bishops, clergy, monastics, simply Orthodox laity. He did not judge anyone, firstly, because he was sorry, and secondly, because he was always busy mourning over his own sins. Sins that were not visible to us, but he himself was noticeable.

- However, we are all forced to talk about the people around us, judge them, understand them, finally - this is necessary both in our personal life (so as not to break firewood in it, not to make ourselves and our loved ones unhappy), and at work (so that, for example, not entrusting the case to a person who cannot be trusted). We have to talk about someone's qualities aloud, discuss them - again, both at work and at home, you can't get away from this. Where is the line between necessary and adequate discussion - and condemnation of a person?

- St. Basil the Great formulated a wonderful principle that determines when we have the right to say something negative about a person and not fall into the sin of condemnation. This is possible in three cases: firstly, when we see the need to tell our neighbor about his lack or sin for his own good, in order to help him. Secondly, when it is necessary to tell about his weaknesses to someone who can correct him. And thirdly, when it is necessary to warn about its shortcomings to those who may suffer from them. When we talk about hiring, being appointed or getting married, this falls under the third clause of this "rule". Solving these issues, we think not only about ourselves, but also about the case and about other people, about what harm our mistake in a person can cause them. But as far as work is concerned, it is especially important here to be as objective and impartial as possible, so that our personal, selfish motives are not mixed with our assessment of a person. How fair can we be here? How fair can a person be? As Abba Dorotheus said, a crooked rule and a straight one crooked. There is always the possibility of error. But even if we are as objective and fair as possible, even if our judgment about a person is completely correct, we still have a lot of opportunities to sin. For example, we can talk about a person fairly, but with passion, with anger. We may be absolutely right, but in some critical situation it will be a sin to be absolutely unmerciful to a guilty person. It practically does not happen that we express our opinion about a person - even if it is impartial, fair, objective - and we would not need to return to these words of ours when we come to church for confession.

I cannot but say once more about Father Kirill. When he was asked questions about specific people (for example, about difficult situations related to other people), he never answered immediately, there was always a distance between the question and the answer. Father Kirill did not just ponder the answer, he prayed that the answer was correct, he gave himself time to calm down his own feelings, to respond not from his own spiritual movement proceeding, but precisely according to God's will. There is a proverb: "The word is silver, and silence is gold." But Father Kirill weighed his words about people on such scales that they came out of silence and remained gold. Now, if any of us tries to talk about others exclusively in this way, with such a measure of responsibility, then his word will be cleared of human passions, and he may not sin with condemnation, mercy, anger, what we usually sin in such cases.

- Is there a righteous anger?

- An example of righteous anger is given to us by the Third Book of Kings, this is the wrath of the holy prophet of God Elijah. However, we see: the Lord - although He closed the sky through the prayers of the prophet and there was no rain - wanted something different: He wanted His prophet to learn love. Mercy and love are more pleasing to God than righteous anger. The Monk Isaac the Syrian writes: "Never call God just, He is not just, He is merciful." And we, feeling the approaching anger, should remember this. Unfortunately, we periodically meet people - sincerely believers, Orthodox, but convinced that Orthodoxy should be with fists. These people refer, as a rule, to Joseph Volotsky, to his views on the struggle against heresies, which even led to the executions of heretics in Russia (thank God that this was not included in the system, it remained only a separate episode, for there was a counterbalance - the point of view Saint Nilus of Sorsk), on Saint Nicholas, who allegedly hit the heretic Arius on the cheek (although this episode is historically doubtful), and, finally, on John Chrysostom, who called to block the blasphemous mouth with a blow. But all these examples are the exception, not the rule. And if we remember the concordant teaching of the holy fathers, remember the Gospel, we know that all who take the sword will perish by the sword (Matt. 26, 52). If the blow to the cheek of Arius was indeed delivered, it was perhaps a manifestation of jealousy on the part of the Archbishop of Lycian World - but from where in modern man, strenuously urging "to consecrate the hand with a blow", such confidence - as if he possesses the virtues of St. Nicholas? Where did we get the idea that for St. John Chrysostom this was the norm, and not an exception - “to block the mouth with a blow”? Therefore, we do not need to "sanctify our hands" and block other people's lips with blows. There is no need to beat anyone "for the Orthodox faith." For the Orthodox faith, you need to beat only your own sin. It is a very great temptation to direct your anger not to fight with yourself, but to fight with others. If we fight not with others, but with our own sin, we will open the chain of evil, hatred, fear, we will not continue, but we will open it. Lord, would you like us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did? But He, turning to them, rebuked them and said: You do not know what spirit you are (Luke 9: 54-55).

- Maybe we can say this: only a saint has the right to righteous anger?

- Paisiy Svyatorets said: “What spiritual person, the less rights he has. " It is from our point of view that we can talk about some special rights of a saint in relation to others, while the saints themselves did not count any special rights for themselves. On the contrary, in the Lives we read how a saint, barely uttering a word condemning another person, immediately fell to his knees and repented of his involuntary sin.

- If our neighbor offends us, causes us pain or some kind of harm - is it necessary to tell him about this, and if necessary, how can we prevent his condemnation?

- I do not think that in such situations you need to endure in silence. Because the wordless, uncomplaining endurance of the sorrows brought by neighbors is within the power of only people of a perfect life. If our neighbor hurts us, why not invite him to talk, figure it out, ask him if he thinks we are wrong in something, did we offend him in some way ourselves? When both people are well-meaning, the situation will be resolved. But if a person bites us deliberately and maliciously, there are two ways: try to neutralize him or, perhaps, tolerate, if it is within our power. If not, getting out of the blow - there is no sin in that. The Savior himself commanded: When they will persecute you in one city, run to another (Matt. 10:23). In order to protect ourselves from the evil caused by a person, we sometimes just need to stop opening up to him. To lower the visor so that it would prevent him from striking us that blow that will bring evil - not only to ours, but also to his soul.

- The sin of lies and slander is directly related to the sin of condemnation. I was amazed that Abba Dorotheos and other spiritual writers used the word “lie” in a slightly different sense, not the one we are used to. For us, a lie is a deliberate deception undertaken for some (once even good) purpose. For them - what we very rarely notice behind ourselves: irresponsible utterance, speaking of certain words, either corresponding to the truth, or not; saying this in the usual stream of our idle talk, we do not even think about whether our words about other people correspond to reality. Backbiting, gossiping, "washing bones" - all from this opera. How to get behind this?

- This is a question about the attentiveness of our life, about how we pay attention to ourselves. An attentive person loses the tendency to frivolous, hasty judgments. If a person lives without thinking, he goes from one confusion to another. And the Monk Isaac the Syrian called confusion the chariot of the devil: in confusion, as in a chariot, the enemy enters our souls and turns everything upside down in them. And the inverted person judges others according to his first impulse, not giving himself the trouble to reflect on the justice of his judgments.

We often begin to judge others from our own weakness - we are overcome by fatigue from offenses, from blows, from pain, and we break down and begin to discuss these wounds with someone. Endure for a while, do not tell anyone about your offense - and, perhaps, condemnation will die in you. And weakness will come, rest for the soul. But we do not find the strength to endure, and here another spiritual law, which the holy fathers talk about, is at work: by condemning, you are deprived of God's help, the grace of the covering. And almost always you yourself commit the sin for which you condemned another person. The fear of being deprived of God's help is another helper for us in overcoming the sin of condemnation. The remarkable Elder Ephraim Katunaksky served the Divine Liturgy throughout his life every day and each time he experienced it as a unique joyful event for himself and the whole world. But somehow he did not feel divine joy - why? “One brother came to me, we discussed the actions of the bishops and condemned someone,” he explained it. He began to pray, felt that the Lord forgave him, and said to himself: "If you want to lose the Liturgy again, condemn."

- You have already mentioned the abundance of reasons for condemnation. How to avoid the anger of the heart, observing what is happening with our society, with the country, knowing about colossal corruption, observing the demoralization of society, deliberate, for commercial purposes, the corruption of young people? This is civil pain, civil protest, but this is anger too - do we sin with it?

- The feeling you are talking about is very close and understandable to me. And I am looking for an answer to this question for myself. The reason for the moral state of our society is in ourselves too. But if we accepted the unrighteous life as normal, if we felt good now, we would have no excuse at all. We are used to dividing the history of our country into two parts: before the catastrophe of 1917 (it’s like a good life) and after it is our life, bad. But let's ask ourselves a question: was the religious life of the people - everything, from top to bottom - ideal before the revolution? The people themselves departed from the living faith, no one dragged them by the hand. This means that the people made their own choice and got what they chose. And the example of the Israelite people tells us about this: when the Jews betrayed the One God, they endured calamities, oppression, found themselves in slavery; when they rejected His Son, they were scattered throughout the world. Imagine if we now had an ideal government, it would thoughtfully take care of the people, prosperity would come ... From this we would become purer, righteous, closer to God? No. But if we were so far from God in conditions of at least relative prosperity, His judgment would be harsher on us. The Lord, perhaps, sends us all this, our whole life, so that we finally understand that we should not rely on "the princes, the sons of man" - we need to rely only on Him. So that we turn from this thought to Him and change for the better. Condemns the one who believes himself worthy better life, better people, the best authorities, who think: everything is all right with me, but here they are ... But in fact, you have to start with yourself. Because nothing in this world can be corrected until you correct yourself.

Journal "Orthodoxy and Modernity", No. 23 (39), 2012

Instructions

There are no ideal people, as well as absolutely right in their thoughts and actions. Each of us has our own experience, knowledge and beliefs, which do not always coincide with the “life baggage” of another person, not to mention character. Our judgments, often, do not take into account personal characteristics, namely, they are the key to understanding our neighbor.

To stop judging other people means learning to accept them for who they are. But only one who has realized his own imperfection is capable of forgiving other people's mistakes and weaknesses. Before you judge someone, think about your shortcomings. For example, if a person does not understand a topic, instead of judging his mental limitations, remember what gaps in knowledge you have. Thus, you will not extol yourself either, and you will not offend him: “I know more about this, but he is about something else”, “I have such interests, he has such”.

Often, not only weaknesses, but also the actions of others fall under our strict assessment. If we can still come to terms with some external flaws, then a specific action, which we find strange or immoral, causes a storm of indignation in us. This storm turns into a real hurricane when we begin to condemn someone's behavior among our acquaintances.

This usually ends with the single completely unfairly becoming a reflection of his essence. So, if an employee does not stay once or twice at a corporate party, he is labeled “not friendly”, “has no team spirit”. Although in reality he is sociable, he has problems at home, and he is in a hurry to visit his family, and does not want to talk about his personal experiences at work.

Before making a verdict, you need to understand the motives that people are guided by when committing certain actions. It is easiest to say “I would never have done that”, but not everyone can put oneself in the shoes of another and understand the reasons for his actions.

Perhaps a person does not even know that someone is evaluating his actions badly. Let's say your friend dresses completely tasteless. In his family, clothes were never given special importance, so all his life he dressed according to the principle "if only it was convenient." We, seeing him in a clumsy suit, do not miss the opportunity to laugh at the appearance of his brother, while in our circle the style of addressing the "eccentric" is established. This feature unwittingly made him an outcast, although he is a good person in himself.

Everything could have turned out differently if we accepted him as he is, or at least suggested which clothes would look better on him. And so in everything. If we are benevolent to everyone, then we will be treated the same way. Understanding and acceptance is the basis of harmonious relationships, not only with others, but also with oneself.