When people share the worst decisions made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z acted in our life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves to our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to dull or even subside. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the event that an important decision has to be made, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, by the way. It doesn't hurt to take note of it! Although for many solutions, sleep alone is not enough. A special strategy is needed.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) is a former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, a popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about this after 10 minutes?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By concentrating our attention on these terms, we distance ourselves from the problem of making an important decision by us.

Now let's look at the action of this rule using an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend, Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica claims that Cyril is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly the one she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is deeply worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an infinite amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Kirill's daughter from her first marriage, and the cherished “I love you” never sounded in their pair from either side.

The divorce from my wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid serious relationships. He also keeps his daughter out of his love life. Veronica realizes that he is in pain, but she is also upset that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush to make decisions. But in this case, should she take a step herself and say "I love you" first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she must decide whether she will confess her love to Cyril at the weekend or not.

Question 1: How do you feel about this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:"I think I would be worried, but at the same time I was proud of myself that I took the risk and said it first."

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I will regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want this to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne! "

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision after 10 years?

Answer:“Regardless of how Kirill reacts, in 10 years the decision to confess his love first will hardly matter. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else. "

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica needs to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Kirill. But without consciously analyzing the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult to her. Short-term emotions - fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection - were distractions and disincentives.

What happened to Veronica after - you are probably wondering. She still said “I love you” first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 Rule helps you win the emotional game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem saturated and harsh, but the future, on the contrary, vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This technique puts your short-term emotions in perspective. This is not at all about ignoring them. They often even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you shouldn't let your emotions get the best of you.

Remembering the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided on this conversation? Will you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a raise: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did after 10 months (suddenly other employees feel left out), and will it be will the raise matter to your business 10 years later?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful... The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long term is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you are experiencing cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

What if you are a leader and you have a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: you cannot be pardoned to execute, you cannot leave you fired, and it is not clear where to put a comma. In this article, we'll show you several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are caught in a trap

Usually, making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: someone withdraws into himself, someone is anxious and does not sleep at night, someone is hysterical and breaks down on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to independently make a choice and acts under the influence of emotions or close environment. Time shows that impulsive and ill-considered decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, career, and your relationships in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before putting into practice the methods described below, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We will show you how.

There are several ways to tame your emotions:

• short-term - breathe correctly. Take 10 deep, slow breaths to help you calm down;
• mid-term - imagine that your friend is in such a situation and asks you for advice. What do you tell him? Surely discard all emotions and try to look at the situation from a distance, objectively. So try it;
• long term - take time out. Just let go of the situation for a while, do other things, and return to it after a week or a month. This will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not cut from the shoulder. And secondly, the necessary solution will ripen in your head by itself, like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Now that emotions no longer affect your choices, let's talk about eight reliable decision-making methods.

1. The method of pros and cons

Use the good old fashioned way: take a piece of paper and a pen, and cut the sheet in two. In the left column, write all the pluses of the chosen solution, in the right - respectively, the minuses. Do not limit yourself to a few items: the list should contain 15-20 items. Then calculate which will be more. Profit!

The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the ratio of pros and cons, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Get into habits

This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to raise the salary of a new employee or it is not worth it yet, put on the site or another company. What to eat for dinner, after all, fries or fish and vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits and follow them in the future. For example, introduce an ironclad rule: to raise the salary of employees only after six months of work in your company. To buy stationery exclusively in the Skrepka firm - they are cheaper. There are light and healthy dishes for dinner - you yourself will soon say thank you. Well, with the call back, you get the idea, yes.

Method essence: following the habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself from unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully armed.

3. Method "If - then"

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, personal life. For example, your employee speaks rudely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: to fire him right away or try to reeducate him? Try the if-then technique. Tell yourself: if he once again allows himself to mishandle a client, you will deprive him of the bonus. If the incident repeats, fire.

The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries, within which you will act. The load will immediately fall off the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don't have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a negligent worker.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule of thumb is, before you make a tough decision, stop and answer three questions:

• what will you think about it after 10 minutes;
• how will you react to your choice in 10 months;
• what do you think in 10 years?

Let's give an example. Take a young man who works as a manager, does not like work, but tolerates, because money is needed. She dreams of quitting, taking out a loan and opening her own business - a small pub, but at the same time she is desperately afraid of going bankrupt and losing everything she has. In general, the classic case when a tit in the hands is preferred to a crane in the sky.

It is difficult for our hero to take the first step - to quit his hated job. Let's say he does it. In ten minutes he will hardly have time to regret his decision. In 10 months he will already have time to rent premises, equip a pub and receive clients. And if it does not work out, he will find a job as a manager anyway - so what to regret? Well, in 10 years this choice will hardly have any meaning at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in a different place - one of two things. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person has a clear idea of ​​what awaits him in the future.

Method essence: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now, feelings obscure the prospects for the future. Remember, as with Yesenin: "you can't see a face face to face, you can see a big one at a distance." As long as the future looks vague and vague, decision-making will be delayed over and over again. By making specific plans, presenting in detail his emotions, a person rationalizes the problem and stops being afraid of the unknown - after all, it becomes simple and understandable.

Read also: Three real stories.

5. Solve within 15 minutes

Paradoxically, the most important strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. This is a familiar situation: the company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the bottom line is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done nasty things, and it is not clear what to do: respond in kind or get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis hit your company, and you are confused: move to a less prestigious place or lay off a dozen employees. How can you make the right choice, and is there any? And you start to pull, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve by itself.

If you do not know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer in this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any decision. Yes, at first glance it may seem like nonsense. But what about planning, but what about testing and validating solutions? Ok, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investment check the correctness of the solution, check it out. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately timed the time.

Method essence: Needless to say, if you drag out for time, nothing will be solved: crises will not go away, rental prices will not go down, and competitors will become even sharper. One unacceptable decision pulls others along with it, the business sags and becomes ineffective. As they say, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and to regret.

6. Don't be limited by narrow frames

The very thing we wrote about at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of two things, pan or miss, oh, it was not! But who said that the problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation more broadly. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, apply disciplinary measures to the fined employee for the first time.

Method essence: when there are only two solutions, there is a greater chance of choosing the right solution, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: do not be afraid to look her in the eyes and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, abandoning both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. It often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or only engage in management activities. Start combining - and then see what works best. This will be the optimal solution to the problem.

Why, in today's world, overloaded with small questions, it becomes more difficult for us to make decisions - and how to cope with fatigue so that you have time for something really important. You probably already know the basic rules: to plan more (so that you don't have to be tormented every night, go to the gym or not), deal with important issues with a fresh mind and a full stomach, and if the choice is not very important, but you do not want to waste time, put yourself a time limit and act. Now we are figuring out how to act if you are faced with a difficult question.

Don't rely too much on others

It is normal practice to find out the opinion of others before making an important decision: sometimes everyone needs an outside perspective, especially if it is impossible to assess the situation “from the inside” in a comprehensive and objective way. Another thing is that in the pursuit of finding out someone else's opinion, there is always a risk of forgetting about your own desires and arguments. As valuable as the advice of friends, colleagues and loved ones is, it is your life and your own choice - only you know what is more important to you in a relationship or work. Remember that the final decision is always yours: ask others to understand where you may be biased, but do not forget that you will have to live with the consequences.

A person, being at a crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What happens after we do or do not do something important? Is the end of the world sure, or will peace and harmony reign? Why do we run to extremes? Is there really no middle ground?

From an early age, each person regularly faces a choice:

Should I wear pants today or a skirt?
with a handsome man or spend an evening with a smart and interesting admirer?
Go to college by vocation or obey your parents in choosing a profession?
Get an interesting or profitable job?

You can continue indefinitely! How difficult it is to make the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as choosing a profession or a job.

There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness of the decision. One can only envy them.

Fatalists are indifferent.

This category of people unwittingly. They do not torment themselves with a choice, they go with the flow in the direction where the "finger of fate" points. It's easier for them to reach out, get out of the closet what they grabbed onto, and put it on without hesitation. Go on a date with whoever calls first. To go to the institute to study the one that. Whichever job comes up first, stay on that one until the end of your life. And, after all, in their own way they are absolutely right! Why torment yourself with unnecessary doubts if life itself will put everything in its place?

Intuition.

There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of their choice. These are individuals with advanced development. Or those who believe that they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision. After all, the confidence that intuition will not fail, will not leave them.

But such people are in the minority, the rest are tormented, tormented and doubted.

When in doubt about the correctness of the decision made, the "Descartes square" will help

What does a person rely on when he does not know how to act correctly in a given situation?

It is possible to calculate the development of events to the smallest detail only if we use the theory of probability. And then, the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do this. Therefore, trusting the will of chance, you can achieve better results than those when a person intends to "swim against the tide" only to prove that the decision was correct.

To learn how to correctly assess the current problem and take the decisive step, use the "Descartes square".

There are many ways that the pros and cons of a decision can be shown. For example, you can split a piece of paper in two. In the first column, write down the benefits that you will derive as a result of your decision. In the second, there are cons.

The most effective method is the "Descartes square". Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which contains a question that requires a detailed answer:

The positive aspects of fulfilling the desired. (What awaits if you complete the intended);
The positive aspects of not fulfilling the desired. (What awaits if you do not complete the intended);
Negative sides of the fulfillment of desires. (What can be avoided if you get what you want);
Negative sides of non-fulfillment of the desired. (What can be avoided if you do not get what you want).

By answering the questions in each square, you will quickly come to the correct solution. Here you need to evaluate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and take the only correct one.

What influences the search for the right solution

What is the correct decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and the point at which a person will receive satisfaction of his needs and intentions (solution). In this process, all components of a person's personality are involved: mind, will, character and motivation. All this, both helps and hinders the correct decision-making. Assess yourself, try to remember what exactly motivates you at the moment when you need to mobilize all your efforts in order to concentrate on one task. Sweep away the unnecessary, and remove the unnecessary from yourself.

Confirmation.

In search of the right solution, a person weighs all the components of the expected success. Choose on the basis of facts, do not be guided by speculation and ghostly "what if." Ignore information that you consider contradictory, look for rational grain.

Sequence.

Every action you take to solve a problem must be consistent.

The vector of thinking about the problem should be directed to one point. Take the shortest route without being distracted by lyrical digressions from the topic.

Mobility.

This refers to a person's ability to deal with a changing situation. With the emergence of new facts that contradict the decision you have chosen, you should adequately assess the situation and take appropriate measures.

Concentration.

When making an important decision for you, it is advisable to abstract from other problems. The efforts of the brain need to be directed to a specific task, on the implementation of which peace of mind, material well-being, or the future as a whole depends.

Selectivity.

Choose facts that are really noteworthy. Disregard unnecessary information, do not consider it important that is not worth your attention and effort.

Life experience.

When making serious decisions, you should not rely only on your own experience. Consult smart people, watch programs, look for advice on the Internet or books.

Don't prioritize your ability. The success you have achieved before is the sum of your contribution, the help of others and a happy coincidence. Draw conclusions from mistakes, try not to "step on the same rake" in the future.

Concentrate, choose the path you will take to make a decision, calm down and act. In the matter of understanding and developing an action plan, there should be no excessive haste, fanaticism and overestimated predictions about the result. These moments reduce the efficiency of the process and give the victory a bitter taste of dissatisfaction.

3 strategies will help you not doubt your decision

The method of the Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg will help you make the right decision. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:

Action.

This process means you don't have time to think. There is a category of decision making that implies that there is simply no time to think. We must act immediately. Then the attitudes laid down by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and the mistakes of other people come into force. To properly assess such situations, learn to learn from everything that life presents to you. In a specific situation, it often saves.

The process of long deliberation of the situation is inherent in the representatives of Western culture. It implies an algorithm of the following:

And the wording of the problem;
Systematization of the received data;
Direction correction;
Evaluation of the parameters affecting the result, and the choice of the necessary means for;
Search for alternative solutions and options for the development of events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of the development of events;
Decision and action.

Intuition.

People who make decisions on an intuitive level are guided by an inspiration, which they themselves characterize as a kind of "insight" that came suddenly. It so happens that a person is looking for an answer to a specific question for a long time, which haunts him. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One fine day, he realizes that there is no problem at all, the solution is already in his head. A system of knowledge and life experience is hidden in the subconscious of every person. At a critical moment, all processes of the body are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate in the created environment.

There are four stages of intuitive decision-making:

Identifying the problem and collecting information about it. This process involves thinking, the emotional aspect, personal experience and the influence of the environment;
Concentration of all mental functions on comprehending the problem in order to feel the depth and the possibility of its solution;
Insight (insight), which replaces reflections;
Re-checking the facts, comparative analysis of the results of the development of events and the final adjustment.

How to make a decision and not doubt anymore

So what is considered the most important factor for making the right decisions? Of course, a sufficient amount of time to think, organize the factors, find the right course of action and choose one solution from several possible ones. To learn how to make decisions you will never regret, use the following tips:

Time and place.

Don't act spontaneously in taking important steps. Schedule a time when you can be alone.

If the next morning you wake up feeling relieved that, take action! If not, then the decision is not correct, or not the only correct one.

Making a fateful decision,. You get the feeling that there is a wall in front of you, against which you have rested your forehead, and there is no further passage. Step back from the problem for a while. For example, go to a movie theater to dispel. Distract your brain from the stress that makes it work in a time pressure mode. But, as soon as you feel that the feeling of heaviness in your soul has passed, return to the problem with renewed vigor.

It is important and necessary.

Consider the necessity of what you are currently doing. Is it really of such value to you that it is worth spending your efforts and nerves? If you are on the right path, then doubts about the need to solve this problem need to be dismissed. If not, then you must clearly decide for yourself what benefit motivates you.

Having made a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Evaluate the options for the development of events again, compare them with previous experience, remember the mistakes of your acquaintances, only after that proceed with the implementation of the planned plan.

The moment you realize that your decision is the only possible and correct one, you will feel relief. Now everything fell into place. It's easier for you, but you have to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve depends on the accuracy in the sequence of actions.

When people share the worst decisions made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z acted in our life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves to our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to dull or even subside. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the event that an important decision has to be made, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, by the way. It doesn't hurt to take note of it! Although for many solutions, sleep alone is not enough. A special strategy is needed.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) is a former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, a popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about this after 10 minutes?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By concentrating our attention on these terms, we distance ourselves from the problem of making an important decision by us.

Now let's look at the action of this rule using an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend, Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica claims that Cyril is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly the one she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is deeply worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an infinite amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Kirill's daughter from her first marriage, and the cherished “I love you” never sounded in their pair from either side.

The divorce from my wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid serious relationships. He also keeps his daughter out of his love life. Veronica realizes that he is in pain, but she is also upset that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush to make decisions. But in this case, should she take a step herself and say "I love you" first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she must decide whether she will confess her love to Cyril at the weekend or not.

Question 1: How do you feel about this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:"I think I would be worried, but at the same time I was proud of myself that I took the risk and said it first."

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I will regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want this to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne! "

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision after 10 years?

Answer:“Regardless of how Kirill reacts, in 10 years the decision to confess his love first will hardly matter. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else. "

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica needs to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Kirill. But without consciously analyzing the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult to her. Short-term emotions - fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection - were distractions and disincentives.

What happened to Veronica after - you are probably wondering. She still said “I love you” first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 Rule helps you win the emotional game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem saturated and harsh, but the future, on the contrary, vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This technique puts your short-term emotions in perspective. This is not at all about ignoring them. They often even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you shouldn't let your emotions get the best of you.

Remembering the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided on this conversation? Will you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a raise: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did after 10 months (suddenly other employees feel left out), and will it be will the raise matter to your business 10 years later?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful... The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long term is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you are experiencing cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.