Hello everyone! My name is Alexander, I am 25 years old, born and grew up in St. Petersburg. I want to tell you my story about how I was faced with neurosis, panic attacks and agoraphobia, obsessive thoughts and hypocondria, and how I managed to successfully and almost completely get rid of these unpleasant and useless experiences.

Perhaps, perhaps, I'll tell you a little about myself and my past, since the roots of all my mistakes in thinking, the nature and perception of the surrounding world and themselves, in particular, grow from there:

I was born in a disadvantaged family, the mother of an alcoholic and a walking father, whom I never saw, a small room on the outskirts of the city. The gift of fate was the fact that at the age of 2 years I was deprived of my parental rights and I was taken to live guardians in a two-room apartment, my current beloved Mamuly and grandmother (the kingdom of her heavenly), which left the life of this spring aged 93 years ...

In childhood, I was poured, overly guarded, I lived until recently with my mother in one room, which was also strongly affected by my upbringing and character, I was always very clear, anxious, excessively cowardly but at the same time a perfectionist and tried to control everything and All in his life. How and everything went to school, to the 6th grade studied perfectly, but then my estimates began to rapidly fall as a result of my passionate hobbies in sports, in which I immediately began to get everything and soon I was able to achieve good results, at the age of 17-18 years I Already a multiple champion and winner of the championships of the city and the country.

He entered the sports university on the day, but was expelled from the first course for the impossibility. At the moment, I study at the last year of the correspondence department of the Economic Faculty, where he acted as they say for the sake of "crust" and not to upset his parents, and still I think that I had to choose the humanitarian direction rather than the study of the exact sciences and the economy (at school I am much easier Russian language, literature, history, but in mathematics, physics, etc. I could not enter it)).

I work as a manager in a small company engaged in the design and construction in the field of energy supply, which also does not bring me satisfaction at the moment and I do not see myself in this profession in this profession.

In general, the lion's share of voltage and experiences in my life causes uncertainty and the desire to quickly find himself in this life, the resistance of reality and the desire of change, despite the fact that I am very lazy and, because of my upbringing, I am not used to take the responsibility for yourself and to make serious decisions. Do not solve problems and postpone them in a long box and avoid meeting with them. In my personal life, I have nothing definitely, I'm not married, there are no children and have never had a serious relationship ..

For the past years 4, I periodically started to drive myself with thoughts that I am something seriously ill and other obsessive thoughts. I was diagnosed with me a hernia of the back, which was most likely the usual nerve overvoltage and going on vacation in 2011 I forgot about him, but But almost immediately, I began to have problems with digestion, and because of my supervaluation and anxiety, I began to inflate this problem and wrap myself almost cancer all anything, even almost blood in the chair found (before our fantasy and faith in certain Things, let it even be absurd to deceive us and give out the desired for valid), and permanent searches and comparison of symptoms on the Internet did our job - I found and assigned everything that was at least a little bit like my guesses about "terrible disease"

I already had symptoms (tachycardia, pressure) - during the exacerbation of these nerve experiences about my sores, but then I did not reach the peak and these experiences did not cross the border and did not pour into panic attacks and agoraphobia .. I just did not I paid attention to them and was concerned exclusively the fact that my last months live)))

At the end of 2014, at one of the next parties on the day off, I tried one as they say "light drug". In general, to honestly speaking the past few years, I didn't shy on a weekend pretty to go alcohol, which helped me become more confident in myself and forget about my problems and feel greasy and more sociable than I really was. But this time everything was a little different ... a couple of days of rampant fun under the influence of the drug and the disheveled alcohol was pretty worn.

As usual on Monday, I'm on a small movement after all the drunk and planted went to work. Sitting in the subway and passing one stop, I suddenly felt unprecedented feeling of wild fear and panic, a desire to escape from there, as if failed to fall into some kind of pit. Sitting opposite people looked at me and did not understand what was happening to me. I blushed, I began to close my face with my hands, the heart beat with a mad speed and it seemed ready to jump out out, it became difficult for me to breathe and it seemed that this was some kind of heart attack and I would die now ...

Switching on the next stop, I left the subway and headed back home to the friend with whom we spent this mad weekend. I then thought that this action the drug was not over and decided to sit at him and come to my senses, I was afraid to go to such a way, I was afraid that my parents see what something was wrong with me ... The next two days were just hell, I was afraid to go out On the street, I was not to fall asleep, I devoured a whole bunch of sedative and night already wanted to call an ambulance or go to the droppers, at work I had to save for several days ..

I was sick, every 15-20 minutes I ran to the toilet in a small, digestion was broken, the nerves were like stretched strings and from every row, I shuddered as if a bomb exploded next to me.

A few days later I drove to work, home and generally moved a little bit away from the wild horror, considering that I was completely recovered after a destroying party ... But it was not here, the attack was repeated first at work with the boss (I had to say that it was not pressure) -Well once again in the subway - then already at home lying in bed at night .. I did not understand what was happening to me, I was constantly shaking my hands, threw in the cold sweat on the nerves, twitching the eyelids, it seemed to me that I was crazy And my brain is finally damaged from the fact that I tried this ill-fated "lightweight drug."

I started depersonalization and delinealization, everything around me was somehow unreal to me, I could not hold attention to something for a long time, I could not even read the TV, my body and muscles were constantly in suspense, the neck was lying, tormented insomnia, I drank Valerian and other pills from pressure ..

In the end, I remembered that I have a familiar psychotherapist and decided to go to him at the reception. He later heard me immediately diagnosed with panic attacks, wrote to me a couple of recipes for antidepressants and some more severe sedative and said that in a month everything will pass. Having bought all these drugs, something stopped immediately to start receiving antidepressants, most likely reading the reviews on the Internet that after their cancellation becomes very bad, I was just afraid to immediately start receiving the course.

On the winter holidays, I planned to fly on vacation and I already had tickets in my hands, but naturally being in such a deplorable psychological state and from childhood Panicianly fear of aircraft on the day of departure in agony passed tickets and after a couple of hours of hysterics caused a taxi and went to The remaining holidays at the cottage in the Leningrad region ... So I launched an avoidance mechanism ...

From the morning of the week in depression and a terrible state, from morning to evening I climbed on the Internet and was looking for ways to get rid of this ailment with the terrible name "Panic attacks", communicated on the forums, from where my "sick" brain patted all new and new symptoms and avoidance And he began to assign them to himself ... Once in the evening, as always, I had information about ICC and panic attacks on the Internet, I came across Fedorenko Paul, where it was possible to download a free book guide to get rid of all my problems.

In just a couple of hours, "swallowing" this book, for some reason I immediately believed everything that was written there and decided to act in this direction .. Some as going to work after the holidays I began to try not to avoid avoidances and follow the advice that I read in the book "Happy life without VD and panic attacks", but naturally at first, in the root, I did not understand the essence of my problem, I had little, but it was exactly the beginning of my way back to normal life without a panic, because without samples and errors the result does not happen ..

At that time, I had already begun to avoid very many things and narrowed my life to the tiny "comfort zone" in which it seemed to me the panic attack I would not get it: I excluded completely alcohol, coffee, even briefly quit smoking but quickly returned to this destructive habit after visits to the cardiologist, who said that I am "at least in space you can")) Subsequently, I also passed the tests and did an ultrasound of almost all the authorities, which did not reveal any pathologies and gave me to understand that all problems and symptoms are only in My head. I stopped communicating with friends, avoided meetings to work with the chief and just business negotiations, often avoided trips in transport, cinemas and places, from where in the case of an attack could not quickly leave ..

Studying the book and video recordings Pavel Fedorenko, I gradually began to understand what the level of anxiety was happening to me and the level of trouble with the round-the-clock, but I still allowed many mistakes and only occasionally left the "Comfort zone". At the end of March I decided to sign up for Pashin training under the name "System of Healthy Thinking". At first, I was hard to have information and practices, because at that moment I still searched for a "magic tablet" and dreamed of getting rid of the symptoms of the VDC and panic, and the brain resisted adequately to perceive the information.

Over time, I got better and better, I began to understand and realize the fact that the panic attacks did not arise by themselves, began to understand that they led to them and that the root of the problem really in my thinking, habits and established stereotypes and behavior in life, began Perform practices that were given in class ..

At the moment I feel almost completely free man. I stopped avoiding coffee, alcohol (right now much less often and not in such quantities as before)), I go to work and communicate with friends, attend a movie and go in public transport, I began to visit the gym and the pool, I go to the bath, once a week Antidepressants I never began to take and just threw them together with recipes a couple of months ago, attend the exhibitions, I go to the country and in principle I don't have more strong restrictions, except in other cities I am still after my "illness" did not go to the plane or The train has not yet sat down, but I am sure that it is all in front of me, I try not to hurry the events and take as my success and small kickbacks back and vital difficulties.

It is very important to understand and realize that we all got into neurosis and the psychological disorders aroused out of it are not immediately, our lifestyle and the perception of the world has led us to this dead end, and at the level of thinking that we did not solve the problem to the panic attacks panic attacks only the vertex of iceberg, the body signal that we have come too far and it's time to change something in your life, and that part of the iceberg that is under water, which we are invisible - it is just our non-adaptive behavior, our incorrect behavior reactions to certain events, infantility, irresponsibility, inability to cope with emotions that sometimes remove our nervous system for several hours anywhere and days, a bunch of ownership and the world around, in general, inadequate thinking ... You can go on sports and remove symptoms but still experiencing anxiety, you can study meditations and try to gain peaceful harmony, but still experience discomfort in uncomfortable situations Ay and exciting moments.

In conclusion I want to say that after a few months, I continue to work on myself, I returned to my usual calm condition and little, and probably it's almost impossible to return me to that chaos in my head that I had in winter, but also looking from the side, As well as with the help of the community in which I am, I understand that I still have a lot of new discoveries in yourself and much in what to overcome yourself before I can become a real happy person.

I wish everyone who faced such a problem as IT and panic attacks of patience and faith in themselves, prevent mistakes in working on getting rid of them, and deep awareness of the fact that all the alarms and fears are just thoughts, and only we ourselves Create and then blindly believe in them, losing the most valuable thing that we have in life - the present moment and real life, let's learn to live in the present and not in thoughts about the past and experiences about the future ... All good)

* Note: Spelling, punctuation and style of the author are saved.

If I want to interact with the world in all the completeness and to be aware of the Creator of my life, it makes sense to figure out how my layer interacts with my level? What does the universe responded in me?

Long practice and observation show that the universe always definitely turns and shows for each person the answer to his true deep desires. On the desires, which manifests itself in the world, the essence of a person, his spark.

And often a person can not feel his deep desires, maybe they can not realize them. And consciously continues to want one, not realizing that there are already deep desires, in fact leading it to another.

How to get closer to understanding what I really want? To understand my depth desires?

In my practice it makes sense to do the following.

1. To admit to itself honestly, what I'm afraid. Realize and write down, and then talk your own fears yourself. Then deal with them. As an option - according to the scheme that I have already published in the FB.

2. Determine in what situations I show myself as it is, and in what - I want to seem like something and someone who really is not. Ask yourself from what fears I do it. Or from what kind of important needs. To figure out how these needs I can satisfy myself and give myself what I need. In other words, go to possibly more situations from "seem" to "be", return.

3. See what is actively annoying me in other people, right before the aggression brings. Then try to see or feel the same thing that they do (or have) these people and deal with their "blind spot", which closes in my consciousness the vision of the important thing that I do - do, and to take in myself - I can not. Or have - I have long been, but to realize, I can not accept it in yourself.
To deal with the "blind spot" - it means that you see and determine why I do - do it or have - I do not accept.

4. Self-esteem

This item is about what I am always, in any situation of choice weighing that I am now valuable to do most - to follow my inner interest, to implement my actual desires, to be in yourself and be yourself, what I am, or something I am Anyone to do - out of fear, out of the kings, from the time to like or leave an impression about yourself, get other benefits for yourself.

That is, we weigh - I now give myself myself, I carry my value or me from the world now I take something, I'm trying to get something. The first situation is closer to the role of the Creator of his life, the second is closer to the role of the victim. In the first situation, I do not depend on anyone and show myself into the world freely, in the second - I am dependent on other people or circumstances.
Free and incomprehensible.
Creator and Victim.

I weigh it constantly, in every situation situation.

It is important to understand that men do not realize what they do in a similar way.

Your partner will never say, having heard your good advice:''Dear, as I myself didn't think about it. He will decide: "Well, wait until Tuesday and then give this idea for your''''', and in case you ask him, he will swear, as if he does not remember what you talked about ϶ at Tuesday. The best advice that I can give you here is to discuss the question with your male, let him read these pages and see what happens. In the end, it's not the most destructive habit for relationships - it's just very annoying!

4. Why does my partner do not know how to express my tenderness and admire me as I express him?

Here is your situation: you and your partner decided to spend the evening together - lunch and dancing. You spend an hour and a half, working on your hairstyle, manicure, makeup, put on a beautiful new dress. You enter the living room to welcome your man, and say:

And here I am, dear. Well, how do I look?

Your partner looks at you a second and says:

You look good.

And then goes behind the keys from the car.

You stay in the middle of the room with a terrible feeling of disappointment. ''Horosho, - you think about yourself. - And ϶ That all he can say? 'When your man returns, you tell him that a little offended by inbot.

But I said that you look good, he answers with surprise. - What else do you want to hear from me?

Well, what did you notice how much a new dress or did not pay attention to my hairstyle and everything else?

Do you know what your problem is? - says your partner, raising the voice. - You never satisfied anything - no matter what I do, everything is bad for you.

And you, being involved in a quarrel, can not understand what is the matter.

And this is what is why: unlike women, men do not notice the details. Let's go back to the first chapter, where we talked about male genetic memory. Men were taught to pay attention to the overall picture, and women - on the details: Men were watching enemy tribes on the horizon, while women looked after the fire and children; Men thought about how many acres of the earth would be able to process the day and how to fall asleep for the next year, while women thought that to cook today for lunch; Men were worried, whether they would have enough money to send children to college and pay Renta, while women worried, if children had clean underwear to go to school tomorrow. This does not mean that some of the levels of these worries are better, and some worse, - just different ways of perception of the surrounding world, to whom men and women are accustomed.

Yes, you know everything yourself.

How many times, discussing furniture that have seen from your friends, did you hear a husband's question: "What did the sofa be blue? And I did not notice.

Whether you asked our partner:''t you know my green dress with a white collar - what do you think it will look better at your wedding of your cousin than a black velvet suit? "- And he looked at you helplessly until you finally began to understand that He does not remember those dresses that you speak.

Most, but, of course, not all men do not pay such attention to the color, form, quality and other details, like women who are used to all ϶to.

The problem is that women are subconsciously waiting for the men of the same perception.

It is when you ask your partner:''Kak I look? '"- You expect from the same answer from the same answer, which I would give themselves, asked you about it - details, details, details. You know how your girlfriend reacts, seeing you in a new dress:''o, Barbara, is new? I really like. Turn, let me see from the back. You know, tota style is very much to your figure. And how well you picked everything - it looks just wonderful'''''.

This does not mean that men do not want to express your feelings or praise you, "they simply do not pay attention to this, they are not accustomed to delve into these questions. Moreover, most men do not suspect at all that there is some kind of problem here until you explain to them.

Decision:

It is important to understand that men do not realize what they do in a similar way. - Concept and species. Classification and features of the category "It is important to understand that men do not realize what they do in a similar way." 2017-2018.

It is important to understand that depression or, more correctly, depressive disorder is a dangerous disease requiring the intervention of a professional physician. Depression may be provoked by different factors, some of which relate to physiology, and some to psychology. Here are the 5 most dangerous habits that can lead to depression.

Lack of exercise

Physical exertion has a beneficial effect on human health, including mental. Their absence can lead to depression. People staying all day at home become lazy and / or begin to eat too much. This reduces self-esteem. In addition, when you come across some difficulty in life, the idea of \u200b\u200bdoing sports will come to your head last.

The lack of sports or other adequate physical activity reduces the production of "hormones of joy" - dopamine and serotonin. Accordingly, when you find yourself face to face with a sad event, the likelihood of depression will be much higher for you. On the contrary, 40 minutes of exercises per day increase the content of these hormones in the blood to the level above average.

Incorrect nutrition

Healthy food is important not only for the body, but also for mind. Polisaturated omega-3 fats are important for the proper functioning of the brain. These fats can not be created by the body independently, so you need to make sure that they fall into it with food, otherwise the risk of depression increases.
Most of all omega-3 fats in wild animals, fish and seafood. In the extreme case, you can use food additives - it is better than nothing. They can also help keep the brain in tone.

Lack of sleep and stress

If you constantly do not give yourself a sleep, you yourself drive yourself into depression. Doctors recommend sleeping at least 7-8 hours a day. To make it easy to fall asleep, never go to bed with a tablet or laptop in your hands.

Non-shows makes a person more nervous and more prone to paranoid moods. All this becomes the basis for depression. In addition, people who sleep a little, work worse, and it provokes conflicts with the bosses and new stress. Appreciate the dream and it will help you avoid depression.

Loneliness

Artificial isolation alone is one of the most faithful ways to depression. Correcting from family and friends you are preparing the soil for almost any mental illness. Scientists have proven that people who have a more developed and extensive network of contacts are less prone to depression.

Heavy thought

Heavy thoughts are also among the main reasons for depression. Permanent reflections on failures, failures or losses are dangerous. In this world there are things that are limited to us, and therefore it is best not to think about them. Reflections on them can lead not only to depression, but also to madness.

You can prove your problems out loud with close people (remember paragraph 4). If you talk not with anyone, write down problems on a piece of paper and throw away or burn it - this symbolic gesture helps to feel inner freedom.

Family relationships

The lack of knowledge, how to behave in certain situations, the misunderstanding of the differences of the male nature from the female, ignoring the features of the male and female psyche, ignorance and failure of the duties of her husband and wife, - all this can create big problems in family relationships, which often happens In modern families.

Vedic and modern culture of family relationships

As you already understood, the material is taken from the ancient wisdom - Vedas, or rather, from the lectures of O.G. Torsunov and some other Vedic authors. In this article, only general information, a brief overview of important moments, which you can explore in detail by listening to the seminar "Family Relations" ...

(Fragment continued below - Yu.K.)

audioYuri Kopovsky - Conflict Spouses * MUZEUM RONDIZM TV

What is most important Understand conflict

today we will do what they did in your childhood and tomorrow we will do as in my childhood


it is important to understand that another side that argues with you
says everything sincerely and for her all this is important

why?
because in childhood the child saw
what is like this (!) Enroll in a similar situation

and the deviation seems unacceptable
and dangerous for development ...

at the same time in your childhood everything was different
and you perceive as acutely inappropriateness
act differently as in your childhood

that's the whole situation
- What otherwise it is impossible to do!?

and both right ...

output?

exit only one so that no one suffers
and did not consider his life ruined
- negotiate to act in turn

today as in your childhood and tomorrow like in my
- It is important for a child:

he will be set different behaviors
and will be armed more than if he brought up one parent
- He will have options what to do ...
(in a difficult situation)

=========

continued

It should be understood that there is a huge difference between the modern and ancient Vedic culture of family or marital relations, and now this culture is largely lost, which leads to family problems and conflicts. Inability to effectively solve emerging problems and conflicts - this is another indicator of loss (lack) of knowledge and wisdom.

How to choose a suitable partner to create a family

The right choice of the future husband or wife is the most important thing that you need to do correctly before marriage. If we choose a person who is incompatible with us, we are waiting for disappointment and suffering. In modern life, in many cases, the choice of choice is not even worth - as fell in love and married. There is no reasonable approach to this issue; There is an approach based on the feelings, and after some time, it comes to understanding that these feelings are, fleeting. The awareness of incompatibility comes after the start of living together when love is destroyed.

It would be reasonable to find out compatibility before The beginning of the relationship, and in any case - to the decision to marry or get married.

Astrological compatibilityyou can try to explore yourself, but better if you have a good astrologer with extensive experience, especially if he specializes in Vedic astrology, and not engaged in lots.

Also playing a very big role mental Centers Compatibility(Chakram), as described in detail in the above lectures. Apparently, most of the relations of the modern degrading world are built on the harmony of the lower centers, which mainly means compatibility at the level of sex, etc., while all other compatibility is ignored to some extent, which automatically eliminates the real happiness of family relationships.

Features of the male and female psyche

It should be understood that men's nature is very different from female; Women's and men's psyche are different things. Due to the misunderstanding of this, there are many conflicts and problems in family relationships. Women can not understand men, men can not understand women - because they have different nature. Therefore, sometimes they tend to expect an impossible from each other.

In fact, these two nature are men's and female - should complement each other, balancing and harmonize. If there is no harmony in the relationship, it means that there is a strong incompatibility (and then it is better to break up), or someone from the spouses (or both) there is no understanding of their own nature and the nature of the spouse, and there is also no understanding and / or fulfilling their Responsibilities, what will be a little further.

Marriage and development of family relations

The conclusion of marriage is a very serious question, and more serious for a woman than for a man, and this moment should consider future spouses.

The prosperous and harmonious development of relations depends on each of the spouses - from their knowledge and fulfillment of their duties originally defined by nature itself. Relationships cannot develop by themselves - they need to build, making efforts on both sides. When it stops, the relationship fall apart.

Responsibilities of her husband and wife

Vedic texts describe the duties of her husband and the responsibilities of his wife who are clearly delimited. It is as an instruction following which rationally, Because it allows you to build harmonious family relationships, avoiding unnecessary conflicts and problems. Ignorance or non-fulfillment of your duties necessarily causes trouble that can be resolved by returning to the fulfillment of their own duties.

Features of modern family relationships

Since we live in the era of degradation, then few people know their duties in family relationships fully, and they are often confused - the wife does what the husband should do, and the husband does what the wife should do. And even knowing their duties, it is difficult to fulfill them.

Why is it difficult to go to the fulfillment of your duties? The reasons can be called a lot - depending on which side to look at the situation. For example, it prevents the ego that manifests itself in reluctance to be the first to recognize their wrong and begin to act according to its nature. On the other hand, it can be said that "presses" the indispensable karma (past lives), causing the wrong (unreasonable, not appropriate) behavior. A long-term habit of engaging does not play a role too - it is difficult to rebuilt like this.

Family relationship problems

Of course, problems arise, and they need to be solved. Notthe right approach to this is to blame the spouse (y) in their occurrence. This is the manifestation of unreasonable egoism, which never leads to a real solution to the problem.

Incorrigible situations do not happen, and the first thing to do is to clarify their own duties and understand what their failure to fulfill (see their situation), which is covered in detail in lectures. And then gradually rebuild, noting for itself how much life in the family becomes harmonious.

Regulation of family relationships

That's right (i.e., reasonably, wisely), regulate problems in relationships may prevent their own egoism. And this is a simple and strong agent - the formula of happiness. It does not suit only one category of people - reserved egoists who have no chance of becoming happy in this life (just because of egoism). All the others will receive great benefits, applying the formula of happiness in relation to their half, but not need to speak to the spouse.

If a person, by virtue of his egoism ("I do not want," "I will not", "I do not believe", etc.) It is not able to apply the formula of happiness, it may be able to work with dualities, which also will also contribute to the settlement of family problems. In many cases, the technique described in the article how to establish relationships.

If you can independently solve problems in family relationships, you can contact a psychologist who has experience in Vedic psychology. Before this, it is desirable to study your duties - save time, nerves and money.

Parenting

Who, how (and why so) should bring children? What is the role of a father and what is the role of mother in raising children? Who should raise a boy, and who is a girl? Not everything is so unambiguous, and there are many important points that I will not mention here too. From raising children depends on what it will lead in the future.

It should not be thought that the wrong upbringing affects only the fate of children. By the law of Karma, we return all mistakes made in life, including in the education of children.

Influence of family relationships

Of course, family relations affect other spheres of human vital activity. If there are problems in the family, it will in any case will affect the mood and human health, which can not not be reflected at work, in the circle of friends and in spiritual practice. Since everything in this world is interrelated, and family relationships are most of all relevant to the so-called "personal life", it is better from personal life and start regulating their life problems.

You will be successful, happy and satisfied with life - largely depends on your half. But if you save even deeper, then, of course, depends on you - from what and how you are doing in family relationships.

Performing their duties in family relationships, a person receives harmony that almost automatically leads to the order of business outside the family. Therefore, family relationships are worth paying great importance.

Family karma

In Vedic lectures, you can often hear that family karma is the hardest, and this is true. Family karma unites in itself and karma families in which we grow up, and the karma of the family we create. As a rule, it is much easier to change the circle of communication, work and some other circumstances of life if they do not suit than to change the family that we created. Moreover, it is impossible to change the family in which we were born.

On fate it was necessary for us to be born in such a family, it is such problems - to learn them to solve correctly.

The exit from the family karma trap is to understand your duties, fulfill them, and pass the exam on "5". And I want to recall once again that a universal remedy that significantly facilitating this task - formula of happiness.

Another way out is enlightenment, which is dedicated to this site. But it should be understood that the work on himself can not serve as an excuse for the non-fulfillment of family duties, if you already have a family, because it will not contribute to spiritual growth.

Happiness and egoism in family relationships

In family relations, happiness depends on what the focus of the life of each of the spouses is to live for themselves (for their own pleasure) or live for others (for the common good - family and society). The egoistic focus "Living for yourself" automatically gives the happiness of family relationships, and this is a very important point. It is impossible to get family happiness if you want happiness only for yourself, and even getting happiness for ourselves it is impossible in this case. Because as soon as you pull the "blanket on yourself", another (spouse or spouse) is automatically turned on to this egoistic game, which also begins to want to have a whole "blanket", that is, to get happiness only for yourself. Remember that happiness and egoism are incompatible.

The same thing in other areas - own egoism includes the egoism of other people with whom communication or any relationship arises. Yes, your egoism also turns on and fueled due to the fact that everyone is also egoist. Therefore, no one is happy. Exit from this vicious circle is only one - get rid of the ego, own. It is not worth worry about the egoism of others, their egoism runs out after the disappearance of their own. The reason for this is very simple: egoism requires an opponent, opponent. If you do not have egoism, then the egoism of another person in a relationship with you is unable to survive, as he needs a confrontation, the game. No games - ego fading. So simple.

It should be understood that you will not run away from family karma, and the example of the fact that many women and men who divorced, and in the next marriage there are practically the same problems as in the first or previous one. Man changed, problems remained. This once again says that nothing in our life is accidentally, and we need to learn from our mistakes, correct them - only then repeating negative situations stop.

Therefore, you do not need to hurry to throw the family and divorce, in many cases it does not solve the problem, but only creates new ones. Immediately need to see if you are all your duties in the family, do you do not live mostly for yourself, do not expect from the spouse more than it is possible and reasonable.

There are, of course, situations where the divorce is the only way out, but more often a reasonable exit is to establish relationships and save the family, crossing over its ego.

If love is gone, it does not mean that forever, and in many cases it can be returned. Several useful tools and recommendations on this is in the article How to return love to the relationship. Of course, these are just general recommendations and tools, and they do not cancel the need to study the issue of family relations more deeply.

Family Research, Test

And in conclusion, I propose to make a very important test - research or analysis of your family relationships. This happens as lectures listening. Perhaps this will be enough to understand what to do to improve family relationships, and start doing it.

As for family consultations, I do not give them for the simple reason that I have too little experience in this area. But, it is quite possible, they will not be needed after listening to lectures. Dr. Torsunov's lectures "Family Relationships" can be downloaded for free on the link above, or you can listen online on the Audiovovted website, as well as lectures on family relations of other lecturers.

I apologize that the article was not very informative, and more like advertising lectures, but the material is so much that I would have to make a couple of dozen articles, which does not quite correspond to the general subject of the site. But the better for you - listen to a specialist on this issue.

Be happy! \u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d

watch in a magazine on a small screen