Our time is an era of change. The dominant perspective in our society about how to grow or move from one state of being to another - be it a global organization or one person - is basically about how to act and how to make a change. The way we use words when we talk about change indicates to the subconscious level of our collective mind that it takes strength and action to make any change. But humans are ordinary creatures who don't like to feel "forced" into new patterns and behaviors. It is for this reason that talking about change in terms of "doing" and "creating" creates a quiet resistance and involuntary inertia before we begin the process of change.

If we change perspective and look at change as a natural and inevitable part of reality, which by the way is the prevailing state in nature, then creating real and lasting change becomes more of a question of how to allow change rather than doing it.

As a species, we don't tend to change on our own. We just don't like the act of changing something familiar. Making changes indicates that it requires effort or strength, which we subconsciously interpret as a thing that requires energy from us. On the other hand, allowing change means lightness, giving us time to accept it, and at the same time keep it energized. In both cases, change occurs, only with very different results.

So how do we create situations and circumstances in which change occurs as naturally as breathing?

Leaders who understand the subtle yet powerful processes that occur when people interact with each other intuitively know that in order to create smooth transitions from one state to another, they must first "imitate" nature, creating a "permission culture" in the workplace. When we allow “mistakes” to be part of the learning process—using “failure” as feedback that helps us grow and improve in what we do—fear is eliminated and creativity is activated. Feeding creativity in this way allows the imagination to play freely, which inevitably allows change to occur. Just as easily as nature allows the slow, steady and constant movement of change to be renewed and activated.

We are the ones who create our own reality as we interpret and perceive it. Quantum physics demonstrates that reality needs an observer in order to exist, an observer who chooses what he wants to see. That is, in other words, what we choose to perceive, we also create. The weather we see, "mistakes" or "learning opportunities" is a matter of choice. And yes, change is permanent and therefore inevitable, but we choose the type and quality of that change. And that means it's up to us. It's about what we choose. We cannot avoid change, but we can implement it in the "right" way. As martial artists, we need to "tackle" the creative process, allowing us to incorporate what we like into our lives and push back what we don't like in a stream of constant change.

Have you decided to change your life, to break out of the usual, boring circle, but you just can’t decide to take action? Believe me, this happens to everyone. John Acuff, a popular blogger, saw this first hand. As soon as you take the first step, the voice of fear begins to sound in your head. It is quite possible to overcome it.

Who are you to fall for this?

As soon as you decide to become an extraordinary person, fear will ask you this question.

Fear doesn't care if you start your own business, get fired, write a book, or become a babysitter. He encourages fear of the future.

Fear is not interested in the specific details of your undertaking. No matter who you are, what you dream about and what you are trying to accomplish, fear will always assume that you are completely unprepared for this.

Even a tiny step towards originality - and fear flashes in your heart like a signal fire.

"Who are you to do that?"

"What makes you think that you can become like this?"

"You don't have the right education, training and experience."

"You're just a mom or a call center operator."

"Your life experience will be of no use if you try to fulfill this new dream."

The first argument of fear is your lack of the necessary qualifications.

If you believe in yourself, are convinced that a new business will help change your life, act!

But get ready for the next fear argument.

You are late

Here is my own experience. It was Monday, 07.27 am. I was sitting in my office and trying to write a new book, but a voice rang in my head, repeating in different ways:

You are behind.

You will never move forward.

If you moved forward, you could rest.

It is too late.

If you had more time, you would have finished everything.

Instead of engaging in dialogue with him, I began to write down what each thought really means:

1. "You're behind"
   Left behind what? What schedule? By what criteria? What does this even mean? I don't work on the counter. The work hasn't even started yet. I don't race, I don't compete with anyone. Who am I behind?
2. "You'll Never Get Forward"
   Forward - where is it? Who determines what "forward" means? I even suspect that no "forward" exists.
3. "If you moved forward, you could rest"
   Rest is a gift, not a reward. This is not a hobby that lazy people use as an excuse, but one of our biological features. Rest is the need of the body, and I do not need to earn it with my results. Rest is not a by-product of my success, but part of my human nature. I don't need to move forward to enjoy or need rest.
4. "It is too late"
   Nonsense. It is now Monday, 07.27 am. How can it be "late" this week? There's still a whole carload of time. I reject the idea that "too late" is when I wake up on a Monday morning.
5. "If you had more time, you would have finished everything"
   Nonsense. What is "everything"? And why even aim to "finish"? When you find something you love, you don't want to finish it at all. You want to do it every day. And to finish means to end it.

As I wrote it all down, it began to dawn on me how absurd fear's notion of time is. The absurdity is that fear is trying to give you two opposing thoughts about time: "Do it later" or "It's too late."

The first thought makes you procrastinate out of laziness. The second destroys you, causing you to experience regrets. And both of them are lies.

If you're alive, it's not too late. Don't trust the calendar that gives you fear and doubt. This calendar never has a "today" page. The calendar of fear and doubt always starts with yesterday or tomorrow.

But you have today, and that's all you need to get started.

The rest will appear as you progress.

Perfectionist in my head

Fear and doubt are contradictory. They love to put forward arguments in favor of both points of view, so that you seem to have nothing to object to. They like to say, "You'll never make it" and "It has to be done perfectly."

The first statement implies that none of the components of your dream will succeed; the second is that each of the components of your dream must be successful. It doesn't make any sense at all, but you hear both of these voices.

They are pretty easy to disprove. The truth is that from time immemorial there has not been a single situation in which fear would predict success.

If you ask fear if you can do something, the answer is always no. So, fear would tell Steve Jobs that people hate touch screens.

Never ask advice from fear. You already know his answer. Just walk your path.

If you don't deal with the voices, they won't disappear.

Doubts and fears are like muscles: every time you believe a lie about yourself, it becomes easier to believe it the next time. If you listen to your voices for the next ten years, they will only get stronger, louder and more impatient. They need far fewer reasons to scream. Simply put, if you don't kill your votes, they will kill you.

1. Express them in words.

Write down your doubts in a simple notebook. This is disastrous for them, because if you write down their speeches, you will immediately understand that this is stupidity. Lies hate bright light.

Every time you take a step towards being extraordinary and your voice starts chirping loudly, write down what it says. Do not ask before that: "Is this a voice?" Just write down his words. Quickly, as needed. Write down how much you get, and then refute these words with the truth. So I did, hearing from the voice that it was already too late, and he fell behind. This is the first step.

1. Share your votes

Do you know what doubt and fear fear? Society. One of the main purposes of fear and doubt is to make you feel like you are the only one experiencing certain feelings. Fear wants to isolate you and send you to an island. Until you share your fear with someone, you cannot be told the truth about it.

If you do not tell anyone about this, no one will be able to prove that you are lying to yourself, to open your eyes to the situation. Admit that you feel the same way. They won't be able to cheer you up.

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How to overcome fear .... Wife and husband. I really see changes for the better in him and I would really like them to be fixed. Your parents are right - the most correct way to guarantee the absence of breakdowns is to finally divorce your husband and no longer communicate.

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And out loud afraid. I would not want her to have bad grades because of this (until they are given). How to overcome fear? Any ideas?

Can the psychology of people change depending on external or internal causes? For the majority, metamorphoses represent a solid contention, because regardless of the circumstances, a person invariably wants to save his “face”, not to lose his individuality.

Does a person change over time - the judgment of psychologists

Indeed, it is believed that changes are unusual for a person, he chooses to adapt to the world, preserving his inherent qualities.

An example of this point of view is the bondage of people from bad habits, which are sometimes unimaginably difficult to get rid of.

However, psychiatry completely denies this statement, arguing that it is permissible to change a person, provided that this is his sincere desire.

More often than not, people yearn for change because of the presence of a psychological snag.

These include conflict behavior, low self-esteem, indecision, inadequacy, spontaneous manifestation of negativity. If a person begins to look for the cause of discomfort in the surrounding manifestations, even an experienced psychotherapist is unlikely to help him. But when the individual realizes that the reason for the negativity is hidden inside him, it is permissible to state that the person is ready for change.

There are several common reasons that literally force a person to change:

• Mental shock, traditionally associated with changes in attitude. This may be the birth of a child or a misfortune that happened to a loved one. People can change for the sake of loved ones or after learning about their own devastating disease. The sensitive shock can be so powerful that it completely changes the essence of a person;
• The development of consciousness - moral growth occurs invisibly to others. Slowly and little by little, a person improves himself, all day long learning new aspects of the universe and developing consciousness. Relatives may not notice changes in the psychology of such a person for a long time, but old acquaintances, whom they meet quite rarely, quickly notice changes. By the way, a similar type of changing psychology can be attributed to the test of age, when the collected skill forces you to take a fresh look at the world. Of course, a person does not change with age, it all depends on his ability to evaluate the path traveled;
• Circumstances are a source of rather powerful sensitive experiences, the strength of which sometimes seems insurmountable. For example, people can change after prison, both for the better and for the worse. Changes due to moving to another city or in connection with a change of job are acceptable. True, in most cases, psychology remains constant and the person returns to the former behavior, returning to more familiar data. But sometimes the impact of the environment really affects psychology. After leaving prison, a rare person is much able to purify his soul, and once in the company of wise self-sufficient people, many begin to imitate them, improving invisibly even to themselves;
• Finance is a brilliant impetus for change, both positive and negative. Often, a real revolution occurs in a previously closed soul, forcing a person to spend money on charity and burn it without regrets, and some people, previously open and kind, find such traits as stinginess in their disposition, and completely move away from the world.

Temperament is one of the innate qualities, the metamorphoses of which require major work on oneself. However, rarely the character of a person changes decisively, it is only allowed to appease him.

How can you change yourself?

If something does not suit a person in his life, it is allowed to try to change himself for the sake of a comfortable existence, while exposing the figure to minimal changes.

Whether a person’s disposition changes under the influence of circumstances or as a result of careful work on oneself is significant, so that these are the right changes.

FROM Today we will try to look at things from the point of view of psychology. Since I have already tried everything else, but my numerous Ukrainian followers did not increase happiness and prosperity. Something is wrong here. I have always argued that the mentality of a society plays a decisive role in its development. But what is the public mentality? A kind of psychological general, formed from millions of individual psychological components. And, we can assume that it has the same average psychological features inherent in an individual.

In modern psychology, it is customary to distinguish five main features of the human psyche. In order not to go into specific terminology, let's just say that each of us has five specific qualities, each of which we manifest in one direction or another, has an excess or a deficiency of it.

Let's say such a trait as neuroticism. People who are full of it are stressed, easily frightened and upset, prone to drama, sudden mood swings. And those who have little of it show emotional stability. And to say what is good and what is bad is impossible; it depends on the circumstances. Once in an unfamiliar and dangerous environment, it is better to be neurotic and shy away from everything incomprehensible. Otherwise, you can get a club on the head or a bite in the leg. That is why, by the way, neuroticism developed so widely among Soviet people as an evolutionary adaptation to living conditions, where one could easily thunder to the accompaniment of fanfare.

All five traits are important and biologically embedded in us. Extraversion determines our ability to socialize, agreement - the ability to come to an agreement, resolve conflicts, finds consensus, consciousness - determines our behavior in everyday life and work, our ability to self-organize and put the world on the shelves, and openness to new experience allows us to think creatively , outside the box and take risks if you need to.

The predominance of one or another trait determines the capabilities of a person. For example, one of the reasons why it is more difficult for women to make a career in business and politics is their biological conciliation, the desire to avoid conflict and find a compromise. Otherwise, the children simply would not survive. But in the wildly competitive world of business and politics, aggressive and confrontational leaders are more often required, and these traits are more common in men, and in women they are usually perceived negatively. Of course, if the rules of the game are changed, the requirements for its participants will also change. But there is what is at the moment.

It is clear, like everything in a person, his psychological traits, although laid down from birth, can change under the influence of external factors. That is why we have them, so that we can flexibly change the model of our behavior according to the circumstances. A person can and even needs to be changed, but this requires either a huge amount of conscious effort by the person himself, or extraordinary circumstances that usually change us for the worse. Like for example post-traumatic stress disorder. Ideally, it would be to create a system in which each of us would have the opportunity to find our own niche, which would allow us to manifest exactly those traits that we have.

After all, it is important not just to give a person all the opportunities, but only those that he is able to use. A woman dominated by neuroticism, conciliation and consciousness will be an ideal mother and teacher, but do not make her a manager in the innovation field, a charismatic leader of a mass political movement will not come out of an introverted writer, even if his openness to the new goes off scale. To paraphrase the author of as many as three Russian hymns, "all sorts of people are needed, all sorts of people are important." They just need to be given the opportunity to do what they have a soul for.

How to do it? Based on the classic phrase - if you love someone, give them freedom. People are all different, and it is impossible to give everyone what he needs centrally. Hence the need for a free market and free enterprise, where everyone has the opportunity to find what suits him, and not be hunchbacked in a bearing factory, just because the Ministry of Planned Economy has made this factory a city- and lifestyle-forming enterprise.

The only way to avoid solving the problem of satisfying the demands posed by a combination of individual psychological traits is to live in conditions of a shortage of essential goods and services. When it comes to simple survival, all these traits and preferences go to hell, everyone wants to eat something. Objectively, any system or ideology that is not interested in the individual will reduce everything to survival, be it physical survival, or race, or nation, or culture, or whatever, the main thing is that the individual and his worms are not taken into account. We have a war (crisis, corruption), and you and your ______ (enter as necessary). This is not the time for personal nonsense.

Why is individual freedom so important, especially in today's technological world? Because otherwise the carriers of the conscious type of thinking will prevail in society. But is it bad, you might be surprised? Isn't it better for everyone if society is dominated and defined by people who are prone to discipline, industriousness, capable of clearly categorizing the world, the ability to neatly put everything on shelves and drawers. As they used to say in Italy, but under Mussolini, trains ran on schedule.

All this only works if the conscious type is dealing with what he knows thoroughly. Even Socrates noted that specialists know the subject of their studies perfectly and are absolutely stupid in other things, often transferring their skills to a field of activity that is incomprehensible to them. Judge, my friend, as he wrote another involuntary tool of Russian imperialism, no higher than a boot. A modern example is Stanislav Drobyshevsky, a Russian anthropologist and popularizer of science that I love. There is nothing better than listening to his lectures about our ancestors, marveling at his knowledge and ability to use this knowledge to sort everything into anthropological and evolutionary shelves. But as soon as he leaves the zone of his competence and starts talking about modern Ukraine or the USA, it turns out that it is impossible to put it on the shelves without full and verified information. A scientist who understands the life of ancient primates so well does not really understand the dynamics of modern society. And this is an incredibly interesting scientist, and not just a drunk laborer.

Consciousness, taken to the limit, combined with increased neuroticism, is a breeding ground for authoritarianism and totalitarianism. We take people with heightened consciousness, raise their neuroticism with war and economic depression, all that remains is to find a charismatic leader who will inflate these qualities to the limit, as a result we teach Nazism or communism. And for this it is absolutely not necessary to deceive and frighten people, it is enough to develop and maintain neuroticism and consciousness in them, suppressing openness to the new. Consciousness does not favor the new, because it still does not have a shelf on which to put this new, so people with heightened consciousness turn out to be politically conservative. Both economically conservative and socially. Which, of course, is sometimes helpful and sometimes harmful.

So is openness to new experiences. Just as not all yogurts are created equal, not all new ones are good either. A new virus, for example, can mow down the victims, and quarantine is indispensable. It is possible that the culture of the indigenous population, who lived by hunting and gathering for thousands of years, is indeed priceless, but it would be naive to look for its use in the middle of a modern metropolis. New is always inherently risky. New art runs the risk of not finding admirers, new business runs the risk of not finding buyers, novelty is dangerous and unreliable. Therefore, for welders, employment is close to 100%, for actors and artists, probably no more than 5, since everyone understands what a welder does, and what a bohemian often does, she herself does not know. But these five percent of successful creative people have everything. The same is true in business. At least in the free market. But the high risk pays off with a potential big win. Therefore, I would not advise my children to go into creative professions or big business. This is a lottery where luck plays a decisive role.

From the point of view of biologists and psychology in human society, the division is not along class or ethnic lines, but according to the predominant psychological type, roughly speaking between consciousness and openness, in which the advantage is always with consciousness, because even the most outstanding invention of a genius open to new experience , requires an infrastructure of consciousness to make an idea a product accessible to a wide range of consumers. Why are poems ephemeral, and they require, in addition to the print industry and the chain of bookstores, also the readers that only the educational system can produce.

But consciousness is the enemy of innovation. Therefore, it is difficult to create something new in centralized state economies. The task of the state is to reduce risks, and if it is engaged in innovation, then be sure, then for military purposes. The ideology of the state itself does not play a role here. Both the hammer and the violin have their own function that they perform. Although, perhaps, someone will be able to combine a hammer and a violin, but it will be such an openness to new experience that oh.

Output. When we talk about society, we must be aware that it consists of people in whom 5 basic psychological traits are mixed in different proportions, each of which is necessary, but within reasonable limits. Otherwise, a mental disorder occurs. And the way society is organized will determine the prevailing psychological type. You need to understand that under any regimen, in any situation, there will always be people who are satisfied with this situation, as it corresponds to a personal cocktail in the head. There will always be those who are nostalgic for the country they lost, and those who still have a great life. And there will be eternal dissidents who can never be pleased with anything. It's all right.

Modern post-industrial society, in contrast to both agrarian and industrial predecessors, where there were 95 conscious peasants per poet-aristocrat, and 30 conscious workers per surrealist artist, relies on creators open to new experience. The critical mass of which can appear only in conditions of freedom of thought and freedom of entrepreneurship. Extraversion and conciliation are useful only in conditions of trust in people and institutions of power. Otherwise, they are replaced by neuroticism, which, in turn, can turn such a useful feature as consciousness into intolerance and hatred. And then already consciousness, busy searching for enemies, is not able to create conditions for openness to new experience, without which there is no innovation.

It is a mistake to think that it is enough to satisfy the basic needs of people in food, shelter and warmth, and not to take into account their psychological state. Because sooner or later, in that one, or - God forbid! - a different manner, but it will have to be reckoned with.

"You understand the sense in life only later, but you have to live first."

Seren Kierkegaard

There is an ancient Chinese curse: "May you live in an era of change." And for many centuries, somehow no one especially seeks to argue with such a view on the state of things. Of course, it can be argued that people are destined to change themselves and change life around them, moving civilization along the path of development. But at the same time, at the level of one single human destiny, global changes seem to be very catastrophic. Indeed, what is change? This is a violation of the usual way of life, in which it is warm and comfortable, you do not need to strain, do something, it is enough to calmly move with the flow, because everything is clear and understandable. And any changes are perceived as negative, because they require activity, without which it was comfortable before. It is enough to clarify that each of us, remembering his childhood, believes that then it was better than now, when there are new technical inventions in the world, other food, people otherwise. And in every generation this situation is repeated again and again.

On the other hand, if you think about it, then our whole life is nothing but continuous changes. First of all, external: we are growing, developing, getting old. And this flow of life never ends, regardless of political perturbations and global climate shifts. Secondly, we are constantly changing social roles: a schoolboy turns into a student, a bachelor into a husband, a daughter becomes a mother herself. And all these metamorphoses need to be somehow accepted, recognized, lived with them. For some, such steps are easy, but for others, they cannot master them.

Why this happens is difficult to understand. Perhaps it all starts with the fact that we get used to living and acting according to a certain scenario, and it is difficult to wean ourselves from the chosen role even after years. So there is a desire to adjust the world around you to your own interests, or not to touch anything in the established order of things. Deciding one day to submit to authoritarian parents, and in the new family, we are unlikely to play a leading role. But it may also happen that the most comfortable existence in today will interfere with a step into the future, even if social rules and norms require it.

But it can be assumed that fear of change is not a consequence of habit, but of a kind of self-defense. Bozmozhno, people kazhetcya chto menya kapdinalno kakyyu verily chact cvoey life, they are normally navcegda zakpyvayut for cebya vco verily, chto bylo hoposhego do etogo: vpode and bydyschee poka neponyatno, Nr and From pposhlogo ppihoditcya otkazatcya. And maybe it was precisely this uncertainty that led John Galcyopcy to the idea that "there is nothing more tragic in life than the absolute impossibility of changing what you have already done."

And, nevertheless, life does not stand still, otherwise it is simply impossible. Every person from the very birth learns new things, learns some skills, learns interesting information. And this, one way or another, changes the worldview, behavior, attitude to the world. Each such step towards the new opens up horizons unknown to us before. For example, marriage is not a restriction of freedom, but the creation of one's own family. And the birth of a child is not a burden, but an opportunity to continue your race in a new person. Just like changing jobs, it is a chance to meet new people, to open up some prospects for yourself.

Change is a new activity(the time between lessons at school), that was the name of the new dish served during lunch or dinner. As synonyms for this word, you can remember: revolution, breaking, rebirth. But who said that they should be negative? Haobopot, stopped at any kyltype kapdinalnye metamopfozy zatpagivali imenno pozitivnyyu koleyu: lyagyshka ctanovilac devyshkoy-kpacavitsey, Ivan-dypachok ppevpaschalcya in chydecnogo molodtsa, tsapevna Hecmeyana nachinala ylybatcya and y dazhe ctapyhi Shapoklyak nashlic polozhitelnye chepty.

We are afraid of any innovations, suspecting them that they carry a threat, require efforts and reforms, forgetting that it is in our power to turn them for good. But it’s better not to think about the unpleasant and look at the horizons that changes can open for you. Writer-satirist Andrey Knyshev once said: "But there are not only dead stars, the light from which still comes to us, but also new ones, already born, the light from which has not yet reached us." And who knows which one you will see first if you decide to change something in your life.

Semenov Biktop Bladimipovich - kandidat pcihologicheckih nayk, avtop 76 opyblikovannyh pabot, Shout of vedyschih ppedctaviteley pcihodpamaticheckogo podhoda in pcihotepapii, obladatel ceptifikata pcihodpamo-tepapevta inctityta pcihodpamy and pcihotepapii Mopeno (Obeplingen, Substances), and avtop vedyschy obychayuschih ppogpamm Po pcihodpame and ckazkotepapii: Indeed, many people are afraid of change. This may happen for various reasons. First of all - as a consequence of the delay in the development of the role. What does that mean? We play roles all our lives, some of which become habitual. For example, a man can get used to playing the role of an unmarried person. At some point, life forces you to take on a new role - the role of a husband. This new role, of course, makes certain demands on a person.

If a person is not ready for these requirements, that is, for a new role, this can lead to serious problems. Or, for example, the child is 7 years old and must go to school. If he cannot adequately begin to fulfill the role of a student, then he will not be able to study normally. Here we are not talking about intelligence, but about the personal component. Imagine a child who does not follow the rules of conduct at school, sleeps during the lessons (not because he is lazy, but because he does not understand that it is impossible to sleep during the lessons), This means that the child has problems with the adoption of a new role, it is difficult for him to move to a new stage of his development.

Why are there difficulties in transition from one role to another or difficulties in taking on new roles? As a rule, there is a certain fear behind this. For example, a young man, with difficulty taking on the role of a husband, could have an authoritative father. He commanded everyone, and everyone obeyed him. In this family, role diversity was not only not encouraged, but also severely suppressed.

Together with a psychologist, a person gradually begins to expand his connections, his possibilities. After all, the acquisition of each new role is the acquisition of an additional degree of freedom. For example, before you could not get out of the role of a person who was unfaithful in yourself, a person clogged with life, but now, having taken on the role of a successful person, you make new friends and start to create interesting life. Or earlier in your family you played only the role of a person earning money, and now you also play the role of a friend to your wife and children. The psychologist helps to realize that the acquisition of a new space in life is a great blessing.

You can also look at the fear of change from the other side. There is a concept in the psychodrama - "meeting". This is when you start to look at the world through the eyes of another person. When you suddenly understand what the other sees, at this moment a meeting takes place. The fear of change is the fear of looking at the world with different eyes.

Each of us can surely remember “meetings”, when someone opened a new world for us, still unknown to us, and this world enriched us. It can be the world of music, communication, poetry, anything. Once my colleague told the fairy tale “Kyrochka Ryaba”, giving the events of the tale an explanation unusual for me: the old people missed the chance to change their lives, which fate gave them in the form of a chicken. Since then, I have had special feelings about “meetings”.